Jon Hamm's Turtle Soap Opera Is EVERYTHING

Little known fact: Mad Men star and my future husband Jon Hamm launched his career by starring in a soap opera opposite Jimmy Fallon. Well, at least, that's what Hamm claimed during his appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Friday, Oct. 14. (Of course, it was all some elaborate joke for the sake of The Tonight Show, but go with it, OK?) The two stars were even gracious enough to grant their audience a few clips from their turtle soap opera Dusk of Night that we all thought was lost to Hollywood forever — and trust me when I say, it is truly Hamm's televisual Sistine Chapel. But wait — what was that about turtles? Well, as Fallon explained, their soap opera's director was a "weird guy" but a "great director" who used to let his pet turtle drive around on set in a remote control car. Naturally.

Like all genius-but-eccentric directors, he also apparently laid down one unbreakable ground rule for his thespians: that even if the turtle accidentally drove into a scene, his Dusk Of Night lead actors should ignore the meddling reptile and carry on with the scene. Naturally, this inadvertently created a comic counterpoint in a show that, well, sounds an awful lot like Mad Men based off of Fallon's description of it as "two friends and business partners who always found themselves in extremely tense and dramatic situations." But, according to Fallon, this was a great opportunity for the pair to hone their craft, teaching the pair intense discipline.

Everything about this clip is amazing, from the Enya video-esque opening credits to the gummed on facial hair to Hamm's increasingly tenuous excuses for why his character spends his whole time hanging out with Fallon's character's girlfriend. But! Hands down my favorite thing is the fact that a plastic turtle has managed to steal every scene he's in from the compelling Mr Hamm.

I tip my hat to you, turtle. This said, frog and chicken also do a pretty decent job of stealing the limelight in the Season 3 clip so clearly this is just a plastic animal thing in general. These clips have shown us the future of emotional, convincing soap operas — one entirely starring plastic animals being driven around in remote control cars. Now there's a show I can't wait to watch.

Images: NBC (2); The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube