Kate Has a Super Intense Royal Baby Birthing Plan

Having a baby is hard. And when you're giving birth to literally the most famous baby in the world, it's really, really, really hard. According to reports, Kate Middleton has a baby birthing plan set in place to make sure that her baby's birth goes smoothly. Here's what will happen once those first contractions hit.

Upon the first contraction, Middleton will call her personal secretary.

Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton is Middleton's personal secretary, though he seems more like her own personal James Bond. Upon hearing the news that Middleton is have contractions, he will call Marcus Setchell, Middleton's doctor, and inform him of the news over a cell phone with an encrypted signal.

Middleton's secretary will drive his BMW 6 Series — with a green emergency light on top — to St. Mary's hospital in Paddington.

Does this guy not sound like James Bond to you?

Middleton will enter the hospital and check into her room.

This will all be done very secretly, with Middleton entering from one of three side entrances in order to avoid photographers. She will then be brought to her sanitized, sealed-off hospital room which has been on reserve since July 1.

Middleton will deliver her baby.

Naturally, by the way.

Buckingham Palace will be informed of the birth.

An announcement — which will include the gender and weight of the baby, though not his or her name — will be framed and brought inside the gates of the palace. Fancy.

Days later, the baby's name will be announced.

...And the world will subsequently freak out.