A Gaga Song About Burqas Is the Last Thing We Need

If rumors are true, the leaked back beat and choppy vocals for the mysterious song "Burqa" might belong to Lady Gaga. Now, obviously, it's hard to expand when we don't know for sure that it's her song, but there are a few signs that indicate this already cringe-inducing track might truly belong to Mother Monster.

Reasons For This Being Gaga's Song

1) Despite the ear-assaulting low quality of the audio sample, there's a very Gaga-esque sound to them. The only part I question is the lack of a belt-y, singing chorus part. Gaga loves her semi-rap talking voice, but she almost never uses it for longer than a few seconds without breaking into her brassy singing voice. Maybe it's too warped and muffled to hear properly, but this for sure sounds like Gaga's talking voice.

2) Regrettably, she's kind of already drifted into the religion-as-fashion thing on her last album, so it's sad but believable that she'd continued stepping over the line on her new album. One of her songs from Born This Way was called "Black Jesus," to which the chorus was, "Amen fashion, on the runway/Work it black Jesus." Most notable is the line, "Jesus is the new black," 'cause, ya know, everyone is totes wearing Jesus right now. As much as I don't want "Burqa" to be Lady Gaga's song, in my heart I know it might be.

Reasons Against This Being Gaga's Song

1) Gaga is really pro-equality and stresses treating people with respect. If you look at the supposed lyrics of "Burqa", they are not even remotely PC. Lyrics like "Burqa, Burqa, Burqa, let's get erotic" seem too unintentionally ridiculous to be Gaga's, even if she get's a little cray with her comparisons between international politics and fashion. Please, please let this song be someone else's; let it be some naïve young pop star's who didn't know better.

2) The beat is a little generic. Keep in mind, a lot of Gaga's beats aren't exactly groundbreaking, but this one feels so overproduced, so synth-y and soul-sucky that again, we can only pray that Gaga hasn't fallen down the corporate production hole. But who knows, I rejected Born This Way the first time I heard "Judas," but after further listening, it won me over. Maybe her new album will be the same? If "Burqa" is on it, though, I might have to boycott Gaga forever.

The little monsters will just have to wait for ARTPOP's release on November 11 to find out for sure if "Burqa" is a thing or not, but I sure as hell hope not. In a year that's been fraught with misogyny, scandal, and vice, the last thing we need is Lady Gaga trying to sexualize burqas.