7 Harry Potter Horcruxes Reimagined For Donald Trump, Beacuse This Election Definitely Needs A Little Magic

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 14: Harry Potter Hogwarts Acceptance Letter with Wax Seal from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) estimated at £3k-£5k goes on display ahead of the Prop Store Rare Film and TV Memorabilia auction at BFI IMAX on September 14, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by John Phillips/Getty Images)
Source: John Phillips/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

When Donald Trump's star on Hollywood Boulevard was destroyed in October, it seemed like a pretty clear cut message: whoever did it really didn't like the Republican presidential candidate. I really didn't see a reason to think about it much further than that, but the good people of Reddit saw something else entirely. They saw something, well, magical about the whole thing. In perhaps the best Reddit thread that has ever existed, Redditors theorized that the person responsible was actually going after Trump's Horcruxes, because if there's anything this election needs, it's Harry Potter.

In the books, Voldemort used seven Horcruxes that, so long as they existed, would enable him to live forever. Voldemort ripped apart his soul put the pieces into each Horcrux using dark magic, so any attacks to his physical body would not kill him if the objects remained undamaged. 

Using a Horcrux to maintain mortality was considered to be a diminished existence to most in the wizarding world. If any of the Horcruxes were destroyed, it would kill that part of the soul, leaving death a better option for the maker than continuing to live. When Harry and company finally destroyed all of them, Voldemort was forced into a permanent state of limbo.

So is Trump that egotistical, that maniacal, that he essentially live a soulless existence in order to reign down terror on the world for all of time? Debatable. But unless he knows something I don't (and seriously, if Trump went to Hogwarts and I never got an invite then there is absolutely nothing fair or just in the world), he'd probably have a pretty hard time creating Horcruxes without the aid of, you know, magic.

Still, that didn't stop Redditors from dreaming up what the other Horcruxes could be, assuming that his Hollywood star was the first Horcrux. A few theories from the thread: a Make America Great Again hat (which would be super hard to track down considering how many have been made), Obama's birth certificate (no wonder he wanted it so badly), and Trump Tower (he was never one for subtleties).

But my favorite list in the thread comes from Reddit user Tulkes, who used the seven Horcruxes in the book and found their Trump equivalent. Harry Potter fans, prepare to nerd out:

  1. Himself as obviously a piece

  2. Toupee: Nagini

  3. Painting of Himself: Marvolo Gaunt's Ring

  4. Miss America Crown: Diadem of Rowena Ravencloaw

  5. Star at Hollywood Walk of Fame: Locket of Salazar Slytherin (Destroyed: 2016)

  6. 1st Copy of “Art of the Deal”: Diary of Tom Riddle

  7. Statue at Trump Tower: Cup of Helga Hufflepuff

So if the Donald ever wants to take a stab at mortality, those items are a good place to start. Otherwise, let's just let this amazing list serve as a bit of levity in the campaign.

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