Easter is great and all — brunch, cute animals, charming pastels — but there are just a few facts that don't add up when it comes to the springtime celebration. Giant bunnies hiding eggs? Disgusting bird-shaped marshmallows? A perpetual seat at the "kids" brunch table? You're going to need more than your share of bunny-shaped chocolate to get through this family get-together. Here are the most annoying things about Easter.
Getting Stuck at the "Kids Table"
It doesn’t matter how old you are or the fact that you graduated college years ago, in your family’s eyes you’re always “little so-and-so” — and that means there’s a permanent spot for you at the kids table. Don’t let the title of “brunchtime babysitter” fool you. You won’t be sitting in a chair that fits your hips until you’re married (earliest).
Bunnies Don't Lay Eggs
I don’t even care if there is a legitimate explanation behind this pairing. It just doesn’t work that way.
Hollow Chocolate Bunnies
I, for one, remember the stifling disappointment that came with my first bite into a hollow chocolate bunny. But, hey, it’s slightly better than biting into a hollow chocolate religious figure — which was the original (and much more disturbing) Easter chocolate treat.
Ok, lamb and ham pass the test. But other than that, Easter doesn’t really have any stand-out cuisine traditions. You’d think the opposite, seeing as lots of people deprive themselves of their favorites until a few days before Easter Sunday. Might as well liven the menu up a bit with some Easter/Passover meal suggestions from ”Bob’s Burgers.” (For real.)
Finding a Cracked Plastic Egg
You’re hard on the search for those candy filled eggs amongst throngs of toddler and pre-pubescents. Oh, there’s one! Wait, it’s cracked and its jelly bean innards have decorated a patch of grass. Just like the rest of the ones you’ve found. That’s what you get for trying to steal candy from a baby.
There aren’t many ways to make the sticky marshmallows appetizing. Best to forgo eating them and instead celebrate the fact that Easter falls on 4/20 with…Stoner Peeps!
Never-Ending Easter Egg Hunt
There’s no doubt that if your family hosted the Easter get-together, you’ll still be finding eggs around the house come Christmastime. Since Easter candy never (really) goes bad, you probably won’t die if you eat it months later — which actually makes this much less of a pet peeve.