Fox News Discovers Spring Break, Is Making Up For Lost Time With Hilarious In Depth Investigation
This may come as a shock to some of you, but there is this thing that happens in America called "Spring Break" wherein college students travel to warm beach locations to, as the experts call it, get completely shitfaced. And if that revelation comes as no surprise to you, then you are clearly not a Fox News correspondent. That's right folks, in the latest evidence that they are definitively not a real news organization, Fox News has now, just this week, discovered spring break.
And clearly, they take it very seriously, despite apparently ignoring the whole phenomenon for the several decades. But now that they have noticed, they take it very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that Sean Hannity is devoting a part of his show to the topic all week long. And he's even sent a reporter down to investigate in person. Now that's some serious journalism.
And what did interpid correspondent Ainsley Earhardt find when she travelled to Panama City Beach, Florida during spring break? Shockingly enough, she found spring break. Like, the thing that has its own MTV show and a movie with James Franco. There was drinking, drugs, sex, nudity, you name it, all right out on the beach. "This is now here in America," she marvels with just a touch of outrage. "Kids are doing this down in Florida."
I don't know what's funnier, the fact that she'd apparently rather American kids make drunken asses of themselves abroad or that she thinks this is the weirdest thing that happens in Florida. Or, you know, this whole segment.
Image: Fox News