Do we ever learn? From getting way too wasted at a New Year's Eve party (the hangover's never worth it) to making resolutions that no human would ever be able to keep, these funny New Year's Eve quotes tell it how it is. Enough of that new year cheer and good spirit, let's get real this year, you guys.
If you're anything like me, your New Year's resolution is usually out the door by Jan. 2 — or maybe Jan. 3 if you're lucky. There's just something about setting expectations for yourself that makes them impossibly hard to keep. Really, when's the last time you kept your New Year's resolution? Exactly. Why can't we all just enjoy the New Year without going overboard on a list of do's and don'ts? I don't know about you, but that sounds like an ideal plan to me.
These funny New Year's Eve quotes for 2016 are exactly what you need to read if you're feeling discouraged about the new year or the resolutions you're planning on setting (just don't do it!). These quotes won't exactly have you feeling inspired once you've read them, but they will, at the very least, have you laughing. And isn't laughter the best medicine for everything?
1. "I had a New Year's kiss once. But it was like, 'Let's start the year off together,' and then we wound up breaking up the night after!" — Joe Jonas
2. "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." — F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. "To be an ideal guest, stay at home." — E. W. Howe
4. "I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back." — Tucker Carlson
5. "Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties." — Barbara Walters
6. "I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor." — Carl Sandburg
7. "I know. I'm lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have 'til December, right?" — Catherine O'Hara
8. "I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the years.'" — Henry Moore
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