7 Trends I Wish I Could Pull Off — But Can't

Women's magazines, fashion bloggers, and your mom want you to believe that you — yes, you — are such a special little snowflake that you can pull of any and every fashion trend. Truth time: You can't. But it's okay! I can't either. Here are seven trends that I wish (oh, how I wish) I could pull off, but sadly cannot. Pause for a moment of silence.

No, you actually can't pull off any trend.

Women's magazines, fashion bloggers, and your mom want you to believe that you — yes, you — are such a special little snowflake that you can pull of any and every fashion trend. Truth time: You can't. But it's okay! I can't either. Here are seven trends that I wish (oh, how I wish) I could pull off, but sadly cannot. Pause for a moment of silence.

Crazy Sunglasses

Colorful sunglasses are perfect for the summer, but I can never seem to pull them off. When they work, they look playful and flirty — I'm especially a fan of the Lolita-esque heart-shaped ones. I, however, look five.

Baseball Caps

What an easy trend right? Who can't pull off a simple ol' baseball cap? Answer: Me. After reading The Art of Fielding, I went through a pretty big baseball phase. I mean, I wasn't actually into baseball, but I did start wearing my Red Sox jersey unbuttoned over sundresses and baseball caps. Alas, I do not have the head for hats. I have tried to fight this, but it's just not going to happen for me. Or should I say hatpen? (No, I really shouldn't. Sorry about that.)

Wide-brim Hats

More hats for me to fail at pulling off! Yay! Living in Williamsburg, I see plenty of women rocking this trend and looking so cool. When done wrong, though, you look like Indiana Jones' sad cousin.

Body Chains

I recently overheard a girl say, "I always feel naked without my body chain." First off, what a weird thing to say. Second thing, girlfriend was rocking the body chain. She looked cool, and laid back, and stylish, and just completely awesome. I couldn't decide if I wanted to be her friend, be her, or talk about how jealous I was of her all night.

Overalls

Cool, American Apparel model. Thanks for making overalls look sexy, when you know very well that they make the rest of look like toddlers. Once every four months, I try on a pair of overalls and think, "I could never pull these off," and then, "But maybe..." I always wind up talking myself down from the ledge, but I also have the distinct feeling that my one life regret will be never trying overalls.

Flower Crowns

Flower crowns. My arch nemesis. So many women get to saunter around music festivals and concerts in their flower crowns without looking insane. Why can't I be one of those women? Why not me?

Ear Cuffs

Alright, confession time. There was a short period of time where I tried to rock the ear cuff. In my head, I was totally pulling it off. All my friends were jealous of my ear cuff! Everyone else wished they could have an ear cuff like my ear cuff! In reality, one of my friends asked why I kept "wearing those weird ear things." R.I.P. ear cuff phase. You will never be forgotten, mostly because I have about 23 Instagrams of you.