To quote my roommate (you might remember when I explained Reign to her/hooked her on the show forever): "Sh*t is getting REAL" on Reign. How real? Let's tally it up, shall we? This week's episode, "Liege Lord," was teeming with murder, infidelity and dishonesty. It always is; that's why we love it. But this week, the stakes were raised in all the right ways.
Death count: 12
Lately, it seems impossible for us to make it through an episode of Reign without racking up a bit of a body count. Recent deaths have included the creepy wall ghost/disfigured girl (but you know, maybe JK), any quasi-Pagans who so much as say hello to Bash, any women who have sex with Henry near open windows or just when he's in a bad mood and some lowly palace foot soldiers. This week, Catherine ordered the deaths of a dozen Scots who were ready to travel back to Scotland to spread the word about Mary's claim to the throne and France's unfair attempts to trick her into a contract that would turn Scotland over to French control in the event that Mary dies without an heir.
Mary is less than pleased, which leads her to give the Queen a slap that would make Marshall Eriksen proud.
Acts of infidelity: 1.5
The .5 is the opposite of shocking. The one might make your jaw drop a few inches. Or all the way to the ground.
.5: Kenna. In the last episode, she married Bash. Neither of them were at all interested in the wedding, but Batshit Crazy Henry commanded it as a punishment for both of them. This week, she ventured back into BCH's quarters on a recon mission for Mary and he caught her there. Luckily for her, he assumed she was just craving some royal lovin'. Why is it a point five? According to Kenna, they didn't have sex. According to Henry, he might have fathered Bash's first born. Either way, Bash's life sucks.
1: Queen Catherine. When one of the Scots she later has killed mistakes her for one of her own ladies in waiting, she cashes in on his ignorance to score a much-needed one night stand. At first, it seemed like maybe getting some would help Catherine loosen up, but then she immediately turned around and had a dozen men killed just to avoid the hassle of keeping them quiet or dealing with the fallout of Scotland knowing about the contract.
Significant acts of dishonesty: 5
In order of significance, from least to most:
1. Lord Julian lies by omission to Lola by refusing to tell her about his "messy" past. This is barely even an issue, considering it came after he accepted her big lie with unbelievable (as in I literally cannot believe it) grace.
2. Lola lies by omission to Lord Julian. Then comes clean. Kind of. Lola has been desperate to get hitched ever since she realized she was pregnant and wussed out of her abortion. Lord Julian seems perfect – until he announces that he doesn't want to have children. Moments later, he proposes and she accepts. It seems like a pickle until she fesses up to her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, but refuses to tell him who the father is.
3. Catherine lies about being queen. Sure, she's just having fun with her Scottish fling, but committing adultery with the queen of France would be punishable by death. #InformedConsent
4. Francis pretends to think Mary's threats against his mother are true, but secretly assumes it's a bluff…but is wrong. Not cool, Francis. Believe in your woman. She's powerful.
5. Kenna uses her position as Henry's mistress to spy for Mary. This is easily the most dangerous act committed by any of the characters this week. Henry is the scariest person on the show. If a(nother) major character dies this season, I predict it will be at his hands.
The bottom-line: Everything is getting real on Reign because more and more, the problems are political instead of trivial social issues in the French Court. There are big decisions and, undoubtedly, a devastating season finale cliffhanger ahead of us.
Image: The CW