Lindsay Lohan's 'Two Broke Girls' Cameo Is Pretty Bad, But Hey! She's Done Worse
Lindsay Lohan's back on your small screen, and not just in her emotionally wrought OWN show, Lindsay, but in a cameo on the CBS show 2 Broke Girls. Also, hey, did you know that 2 Broke Girls is still on? In the surprise appearance, Lilo shows up at the cupcake shop that the aforementioned girls (who are broke) work at, as a demanding bride who wants a house in the Hamptons but will settle for a cupcake. Also, apparently, she accidentally ate and then, ahem, "passed" her engagement ring, and during the wedding scene, she makes some sure-to-please-the-dudes "I'm into girls now!" comments to Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs.
Ha, ha! Comedy!
Oh, it's a glorious trainwreck, and it's evident from this clip that her cameo is not going to revive her acting career. But dang, is Lilo resilient. No matter how many times she crashes and burns, she always manages to get back in the saddle. Her raspy, poorly delivered punny lines on 2 Broke Girls were bad, but not that bad — here are three roles Lilo has had that were worse than her sitcom foray, ranked by their badness (least bad to worst bad).
1. The Canyons
Actually, Lindsay isn't the worst part about The Canyons, but she's still pretty bad, if that gives you a meter of its utter horridness. She co-stars with porn star James Deen in this Bret Easton Ellis "erotic-thriller drama" which features a foursome and a lot of bloody violence. It's grimy and poorly acted and, in that way, kind of has an authentic Los Angeles vibe to it. As Roger Ebert so bleakly reviewed it, "They seem to want to leer. They want us to leer, too. Instead, we end up gawking at the ineptitude of it all." Ouch! Upside: the soundtrack isn't half bad.
2. Liz and Dick
Who knew Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor in a made-for-TV Lifetime movie was an unwise move? The answer should have been "everyone," but alas, the project came to fruition. Lohan as Liz Taylor was a wax figurine with almost no emotion, and her opposite Grant Bowler, who played Taylor's long-time lover/husband/troublemaker Richard Burton, wasn't much less of a cardboard cutout. The only good thing about Lohan's turn in Liz and Dick was her hair, and this .gif:
3. I Know Who Killed Me
But do you know who killed your career, Lilo?! (It was just out there). Another thriller, where Lohan plays TWINS, which definitely worked for her in The Parent Trap but fell so, so flat here. She's the victim of a demented serial killer who amputates a bunch of her limbs, and she's also created an alter ego as a stripper? Or her twin sister? It earned a beautiful 6 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is badness that might be hard for even Lilo to beat in the future.
There's one thing that can be said about Lindsay—she just keeps trying. Hang in there, Lilo. At the end of the day, at least Oprah is your personal mentor. Some day you'll have your true "Make it Work" moment.