Whoopi Goldberg Writes Ode To Her Vaporizer & It’s Both Hilarious & Informative

Whoopi Goldberg has done a lot with her career. She's an EGOT winner, I think that says it all. But now Goldberg has added something new to her resume: writer for The Cannabist. Whoopi Goldberg penned an ode to her vaporizer for the pro-marijuana publication and it is amazing. She LOVES her vaporizer pen and she's even named it "Sippy." Goldberg isn't just a weed lover looking to get the word out there though, she suffers from glaucoma and uses her "vape pen" medicinally to treat her headaches. Still, that doesn't stop Goldberg from writing the kind of lines that could just as easily have been written by your typical stoner who lazes on a couch with their own Sippy all day.

Goldberg talks about the pain of glaucoma and does so in a way that makes it very clear that she wasn't getting the relief she needed with manufactured medicine. She says, "These glaucoma-induced headaches come on like freight trains — like, BOOM, my head starts hurting, my eyes start bugging, my whole body starts to tense up" and "I used to take Advil by the handful for this very reason, and I don’t take Advil anymore — not for my eye. You’re not supposed to eat Advil every day, and I was eating them every day, these man-made things."

But I've gotta admit, it's much more fun to read her pot head-sounding lines like, "The high is different, too. It feels like a gentle, warm breeze at the beach." Or the super blunt (no pun intended, seriously), "What kind of kush is in my vape pen at the moment? The indica-dominant Platinum OG, of course."

Goldberg clearly loves her pen, saying, "I took a sip. It was beautiful. And my pen and I have been together ever since." And notes that her friends are even jealous in this particularly awesome section,

When I show her to a friend, the reaction 99 percent of the time is: “Holy shit, where did you get this and how can I get me one?” They’re seriously that blown away by my vape pen. And they should be. She’s that amazing.

While Goldberg's essay is fantastic in it's humor ("Haha! Whoopi's a stoner!), it really is an honestly written and compelling case for medical marijuana. But, hey, if you just want to read it to laugh at how many times Goldberg says "vape pen," that's cool too.

Image: E! Online