Meet Your New BFF, Powdered Alcohol — Or 'Palcohol'
For those of us who despaired when Vaportinis, the device that allowed you to inhale a shot of alcohol, were scheduled to be banned in Maryland, have no fear, the alternative is here! Palcohol, the powdered version of alcohol, has arrived on the market to give Kool Aid a run for its money. No more powdered lemonade for you adults – you can mix yourself a real drink now.
The best part? It's been approved. The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB), has already given the green light to seven different varieties of Palcohol, including the "cosmopolitan," "lemondrop," and "powderita" flavors. The powder packs come with instructions that inform users to just add water or mixers for an "instant cocktail." Happy birthday to me!
If obtaining alcohol was too troublesome before, Palcohol has certainly swooped in to save the day. Gone are the days of lugging around heavy bottles and cumbersome packs of alcohol. Now, all one needs for a boozy drink is a bit of water and some alcohol powder.
It is unclear how exactly the product made it past federal regulations, especially considering the fate of the equally frightening-sounding Vaportinis. Palcohol is directly targeting sporting events and concert audiences, assuring potential users that there is nothing worse than watching football or a live music event sober. What, after all, is football without alcohol?
Maybe you’re a college football fan. So many stadiums don’t even serve alcohol. What’s that about; watching football without drinking?! That’s almost criminal. Bring Palcohol in and enjoy the game.
What’s worse than going to a concert, sporting event, etc. and having to pay $10, $15, $20 for a mixed drink with tax and tip. Are you kidding me?! Take Palcohol into the venue and enjoy a mixed drink for a fraction of the cost.
Palcohol offers a cheap (and potentially dangerous) alternative to traditional, more expensive drinks that one would normally order. But Palcohol is also diverse in its consumption methods, as its website boasts that you can, in fact, snort Palcohol, but that doing so would be "irresponsible." Just like suggesting that your customers should snort your product.
So the next time you find yourself reaching for those Crystal Light water flavorers, just ask yourself: do I want water, or do I want a powderita?
UPDATE: Palcohol was apparently approved 'in error,' and Palcohol gave up the erroneous approvals April 21.