8 Outlandish Plotlines We Want To See For 'Mad Men's Final Season

Mad Men is an interesting show to watch. Intricately constructed, deceptively quiet until BAM! Someone gets their foot destroyed by a lawn mower, someone gets accidentally stabbed, someone gets their eye shot out. But it is, overall, a rather quiet, contemplative show. Which is why, as we dive even further into the show's seventh and final-ish season (it does come back next year for the final season's second half), we have a list of things we'd be wildly entertained to see happening on the show in its final days. We also have every faith that most of these will never happen. Though we can dream, and maybe — just maybe — one of them will come true.

Images: AMC

Lane Pryce Returns From The Dead To Punch California Pete

One thing Mad Men’s always lacked is zombies. And it’s not like AMC’s got a shortage.

Joan Revenge-Kills Her Ex-Husband And That Guy From Jaguar

The man who raped her and the man who insisted she prostitute herself for the firm to get his business? Yeah, she goes (spoiler alert?) Breaking Bad finale on their asses with a machine gun in the trunk. Or perhaps just cyanide or arsenic, that seems a simpler, more elegant, more Joan tactic.

Sally Draper Runs Away to San Francisco, Only Calls Her Parents On Holidays

California is paradise in the Mad Men mythos, after all.

She gets into heroin for a little while, then cocaine throughout the ’80s, but she comes out of it a stronger woman in the ’90s, and ends up a very successful essayist and feminist trailblazer. She writes a series of best-selling memoirs about her life, one of which delves into her father’s past.

Peggy and Stan Live Happily Ever After

Just picture it: These two living in sin together into the new millennia. I need it. I crave it.

Someone on this show’s gotta end up happy.

Image: Tumblr

Someone Brutally Murders Megan

This isn’t technically something we want, but enough people have theorized this since last season that we thought we’d put it in here because it’s almost as crazy as the rest of these theories. This ain’t Game Of Thrones, and Sharon Tate fashion influence does not necessarily mean murder is imminent.

But can you imagine if it actually happened?

Pete and Bob Benson Star In A Spin-Off Sitcom Called "NOT GREAT, BOB"

In which Bob Benson reveals his true identity as a sexy secret agent and finally woos Pete. He regrets the latter immediately.

Image: Vulture

The Entire Finale Is An Hour-Long Tap Dance By Ken Cosgrove

The guy lost an eye, we gotta give him something. Plus the dude can dance.

Most Of The Last Two Seasons Has Been A Fever Dream

We snap back to Don Draper strangling that woman to death in “Tea Leaves.”