'Game of Thrones' Shows Some Naked Men & Finally Tries to Level the Nudity Playing Field

Hello, Westeros fans and happy Episode 3 of Game of Thrones. So, let's talk: maybe you didn't notice because you were so caught up in that scene, and you're still pouring over that Purple Wedding, but there was some significant male nudity in this week's Game of Thrones. You read that correctly — we got a few glimpses of naked men on the show known for depicting a sea of bare breasts.

But I'm not talking about Prince Oberyn's blonde boy toy — I'm talking about the glimpse we got of something else: we actually saw the tip of a penis. Did you forget because you're still tormented by that gruesome incestuous rape scene or that massacre the Wildings pulled off? Without a doubt, this was an episode filled with horrific things — so horrific, in fact, that the dick you saw might have totally gone over your head (under your head? I'm not even going to try to come up with horrible, bawdy puns).

If you can recall, a dude with a horse in Mereen was talking shit to Danaerys, which one does not do. In order to show his power and place, he peed on the ground because that's apparently how you show your power. The camera angle showed the tip of his penis as he pulled it out to urinate on the ground. So, first thing of note: we did not see the tip of this johnson in a sexual encounter. We saw some manparts as an active display of power (granted, that power is later shit upon when Daario flays him with a dagger, but still). His nudity was not part of any objectification. Second thing of note: it was a fleeting couple of seconds and you may or may not have caught it.

Now, we have been discussing for sometime the inequality of the distribution of nudity in Game of Thrones. Sure, we get a bare ass here and there, but usually it's when a man makes an active choice to have sex (RIP Robb Stark). We did have some nudity on women's behalf that represented power (see: Dany at the end of Season 1), but the majority of female nudity has been a part of the scenery: Look! There are boobs because we're chillin' at Littlefinger's!

We have discussed at length how there ought to be more male nudity in the show, not because we're horny, but because it only seemed fair — and Kit Harington sorta-kinda agreed with the notion. It was suggested that there would be more male nudity this season, so... are we going to see more pissing soldiers who get flayed with daggers by bearded, winking swordsmen?

However, this is about something more than just what penises we see or don't see on Game of Thrones. This is about silent sexual politics. Women on Game of Thrones — or any show, really — are often objectified when they're fully nude. If men are shown naked in a sexual act, it's viewed not as natural but... porny.

So: Show a lady naked having sex, and it's natural. Show a penis while it's urinating, and it's natural. But show a penis during an actual sex? Well, then we're looking at the Game of Thrones porn parody. Male nudity gets a porn status, whereas women can be freely objectified, and it's viewed as "just what happens."

But still, tonight was the night: the night of the penis. That was the "big reveal" of the night, I suppose. JK! The big reveal is that person who killed Joffrey is actually...

Psych! I wouldn't spoil anything for anyone. I'm not a terrible person. (And also, I don't even know.)

Image: HBO