Entertainment

Fox Is Bringing You Bible TV

by Mallory Schlossberg

Ready for another biblical miniseries? Well, prepare ye because another one is well on the way. The people over at Fox are going to bring us Nazareth, which is about — you guessed it! Dramatized Biblical tales!

Consider this a version of The History Channel's 2013 miniseries The Bible, but for people who only have basic cable or for those who want something focused totally on Jesus but not in the styles of either The Passion of The Christ or Jesus Christ Superstar. It's like a happy medium!

We should also remember that this miniseries will air on Fox, so we're not going to have a ton of nudity and bloodshed. While it will surely be gritty, we shouldn't expect HBO levels of violence and nudity.

Anyway, this miniseries will chronicle Jesus as he's in his formative years, which leaves things open to interpretation. Formative, as in, his journey to becoming a religious figure? Or like, in his teen years as he's dealing with all of his #JesusProblems, like Mary Magdalene who was so difficult at times.

Alright, alright, joking aside, Nazareth will have a script penned by Academy Award winner David Franzoni, who was responsible for writing the script for Gladiator. We're going to be in for some heavy duty dramatic stuff, not #Jesusproblems.

The last time I watched Jesus on my television screen, though, it was more like this:

But I'm going to make an educated guess that this Jesus will look more like this:

And if we're lucky, like this!

Okay, that's probably a completely different show, something far closer to the dancing in Jesus Christ Superstar, which, by the way, will be touring this country this summer starring the suddenly-relevant again J.C. Chasez .

Anyway, there's your daily dose of offensive stuff, but seriously — only Jesus GIFs can accompany news like "there's gonna be a new TV show on Fox about Jesus!"

Image: South Park GIF/Jesus GIF/Jesus Dancing GIF