4 Things Vladimir Putin Said In Crimea, And What He Actually Meant

Living by Horton's "I meant what I said and I said what I meant" mantra is generally good policy, but Russian President Vladimir Putin probably thinks Dr. Seuss is a Western imperialist. The Kremlin's head honcho is still traipsing around Eastern Europe, specifically Crimea, like a conqueror, and conquerors say what's necessary at any given time (and in Putin's defense, so do most politicians). On Friday, Putin stopped by his new fave Russian peninsula, Crimea, to greet his adoring public. Meanwhile, violent clashes between pro-Russian separatists and the Ukrainian military are ongoing.

1. On 'Historic Memory' in Crimea

What Putin said:

I think 2014 will also be an important year in the annals of Sevastopol and our whole country, as the year when people living here firmly decided to be together with Russia, and thus confirmed their faith in the historic memory of our forefathers. There is a lot of work ahead, but we will overcome all the difficulties because we are together, and that means we have become even stronger.

What he meant:

Get ready, Crimea. This is just the beginning.

2. On Russia's 'Invincible Power'

What Putin said:

This is the holiday when the invincible power of patriotism triumphs. When all of us particularly feel what it means to be faithful to the Motherland and how important it is to defend its interests.

What he meant:

Do you guys know what nationalism means? No worries. I will teach you.

3. On the crisis in Ukraine

What Putin said:

I simply believe that if we want to find a long-term solution to the crisis in Ukraine, open, honest and equal dialogue is the only possible option.

What he meant:

I probably made it too obvious that I was pulling the strings in Ukraine. You guys, I am totally not pulling the strings in Ukraine.

4. On arrival in Crimea

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

What Putin said:

Hello, Comrades!

What he meant:

Hello, Comrades!

What the rest of the world thought:

Uh-oh.