Entertainment

Jax + Rob K. = Footwear Match Made In Heaven

by Kristie Rohwedder

This is very important: Jax Taylor has a shoe and sweater collection. He did it. He really did it. He proved Stassi Schroeder wrong. Wow wow wow. The Vanderpump Rules star paired up with XCALIBUR BRAND, and BAM! Jax Taylor by XCALIBUR BRAND shoes and sweaters were born. I’ve spent some time looking at the site. The verdict: The cut-to-order cardis and kicks look very nice. Pricey, but very nice.

How pricey? A two-toned shawl collar cardigan will set you back $295. The Authur I shoes run for $395 (as do the Authur II shoes). Not the most expensive stuff on the Internet, but I wouldn't call any of it a steal.

Hold up. Authur I/II. Do you know what “Authur” sounds like? Arthur. Do you know where my mind goes whenever I hear the name “Arthur?” I will tell you: 1) The book-turned-cartoon series and 2) Rob Kardashian’s sock line.

Oh my god.

Two reality stars. Authur. Arthur George. Shoes. Socks. You wear shoes with socks. You could wear reality star Kardashian's socks with reality star Taylor's shoes. This is so perfect. Kardashian's socks are amazing to begin with, but if worn with Taylor's shoes? Next level.

I can't feel my face. I can't breathe. Someone hand me a Zyrtec, because I'm having an allergy attack. The allergen: the thought of someone wearing Authur I/II shoes with Arthur George socks. TOO MUCH REALITY TV GOODNESS.

They must collaborate. I demand it. They could call their shoe and sock line "Authur George." Or "Aurthur George." Or "Au-Arthur George." Or "Arthur vs. Authur." Shit, I don't care what they call it. I'd be fine with "Jax & Rob." All I care is that the two of 'em join forces. They could take the footwear and footwear accessories world by storm. They could design shoes and socks. Shoehorns. Shoelaces. Slippers. Slipper socks.

AND THEN! There could be a Kardashian/Taylor footwear empire reality show. AHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHH.

I have to stop now. Otherwise, I will most definitely pass out.