It's hard to believe, but this new project features more penis than American Pie and as much heart as Orange Is The New Black. In a new faux SeaWorld commercial made by PETA, Jason Biggs riffs on all the glories of SeaWorld, including live action leg-ripping (fun for the kiddies!), abundant whale sperm, and orca incest. Yup, even the most foolhardy SeaWorld fan will have a hard time enjoying themselves after this intense beat-down of the aquatic park's practices, and it's all thanks to Biggs.
If Biggs is willing to be filmed sitting naked in a blow-up pool to save the orcas, how far will you go? The man is a comedian, a father, and clearly, he's an inspiration, and let it be known that any man who can make me look back on childhood memories with shame is a man I want to know. Plus, he wants to protect the orcas, people. What's cooler than that?
This absolutely brilliant PETA commercial makes me realize that Biggs is pretty much a living breathing representation of my hebrew school crush that got away (even if he isn't Jewish; details, details). After you watch the ad, remember that you'll be seeing more of him on June 6 when the second season of Orange Is the New Black hits Netflix.
Take it away, my man!