Charlie Sheen’s Twitter Rant About Rihanna Is The Most Insulting Free Verse Poem You’ll Ever Read

A new celebrity feud has broken out — well, technically, it's not a feud yet because it is totally one-sided, but we'll see what happens. Charlie Sheen is mad at Rihanna for refusing to meet his fiancée when they were out to dinner at the same restaurant. And I'm mad at Charlie Sheen for using that longer tweets thing to express his anger at Rihanna. It's not that he shouldn't use Twitter for this situation, but there are standards when it comes to Twitter rants that were firmly established by Kanye West (thank you, Kanye) and Sheen is going against all the rules. Twitter rants are meant to be a series of 140 character tweets each expressing a different reason behind the rage. Charlie Sheen spits in the face of these guidelines.

While I'm sure you're as passionate as I am about TwitLonger for rants, you probably want to know what really went down between Sheen and Rihanna. Sheen and his fiancée Brett Rossi were celebrating her birthday at a Santa Monica restaurant when they noticed Rihanna was dining at the same establishment. Rossi is a fan of Rihanna, so she and Sheen sent a request to Rihanna's table (apparently, this is a thing if you're a super fancy celeb) and Rihanna denied the request saying that "there were too many paps outside," to use Sheen's words. Then Sheen wrote up, judging by its format, a free verse poem expressing his disappointment and anger with Rihanna making sure to throw in a variety of insults as well.

The entire thing is pretty long, but it includes lines like this one which comes after Sheen describes Rihanna's refusal:

no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and"please kill me now"that I'd never get back.

And this one with a sarcastic spelling and capitalization of "cool:"

Sorry we're not KOOL enoughto warrant a blessing fromthe Princess. (or in this case the Village idiot)

Then there's this section where Sheen seems to think that he somehow paved the way for Rihanna's career:

it was a pleasure NOTmeeting you.clearly we have NOTHINGin common when it comesto respect for those who'vegone before you.

There's a lot more where those came from and Sheen makes it absolutely clear how upset he is. Rihanna, who is always outspoken on social media, has not yet responded probably because she's too KOOL to check Charlie Sheen's Twitter account.

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