Brad Pitt's Now A Farmer, So We Must Request A Reality Show Called "Celebrity Farmers"
Brad Pitt: beautiful man, stellar actor, Joe Black, partner of Angelina Jolie, father of an entire clan, and — farmer. Brad Pitt now calls himself a farmer, and not only does he reckon to call himself a purveyor of agriculture, but the media agrees. He was on the cover of Wine Spectator , and, in his feature article, talked all about the award-winning wine that he produced with Jolie. He makes his own wine, guys. He's a farmer. His words:
I'm a farmer now. I love learning about the land and which field is most suitable for which grape, the drama of September and October: Are we picking today? Where are the sugar levels? How is the acidity? Is it going to rain? It’s been a schooling for me. In the off months, I enjoy cleaning the forest and walking the land.
Sounds like words from a legit farmer.
So if Pitt is now a farmer, this means we are now due for a reality show. After all, combine celebrities with another trade (make them aspire to be business people in The Apprentice! Make them dance on Dancing With Stars! Make them go to AA meetings on television in Celebrity Rehab! — okay, maybe not that one) and you get a television show. So network television, may I bring you this pitch for a reality show that the universe is practically begging for...
A couple of celebrities gather together on one farm. Who will farm the best product? Who will be able to live a simple life in the absence of any retail facilities? Who will only drink cow's milk? Celebrity Farmers is like Survivor, only not quite. Because it's on a farm. Out-wit. Out-play. Out-farm.
Obviously. He's a farmer now! But can his wine-making skills save him? Will he milk the sheep?
Maker Of Toothpaste, Eater Of Clay, Liver Of The Simple Life, Proud Woman Of The Earth. But when everybody else is making their own toothpaste, too, how will she feel!?
She survived The Simple Life... but can she survive... the farm?!
Crowe lived on a farm for 12 years. But what will he do when it's his turn to be the cow milker?
He sells his own avocados. He sings songs that make girls cry. But can avocados and sweet melodies help you out-farm your farm-mates?
Because this show needs her. (And she, too, has lived on a farm.)
Who will make the best products? Who will have an avocado fight? Who will — gasp — cow tip!? Find out on Celebrity Farmers.