Book Suggestions for This Week's Headline Makers

These people made their way into this busy week's headlines — and they must be exhausted. No better time to curl up with a good book, right? Here, let us guide their Amazon purchases:

Beautiful, intelligent Huma Abedin! Huma, I trust you: you're smart and savvy. I'm sure you have your reasons to stick around, but there are also plenty of Reasons to Leave the Slaughter (poems by Ben Clark).

On that note, Anthony Weiner, it seems you are confused. What're you dooooing? Why are you still in this race? Please, quit now: you'll save face, you'll be able to pay attention to your marriage, and maybe you can pick up a fun hobby. You could even Start Your Own Restaurant : Weiner's Schnitzel. Or something along those lines. These are just suggestions.

Finally, Putin, if you're out there and reading Bustle, listen up: You're a gross, homophobic scumbag. Banning foreign gay couples' adoptions of Russian babies? You are wretched. And you are also really, really, really lame. Here: it's your own biography, The Little Lame Prince .

Bon weekend, friends.