They're Doing A Swap, Ugh

by Kaitlin Reilly

Your (least favorite) couple from The Hills is back on reality TV! The somehow still married Spencer and Heidi Pratt are heading back to television and will surely make more than just the viewers miserable. According to TMZ, Spencer and Heidi will appear on a new episode of Celebrity Wife Swap, where Heidi and Olympian Amanda Beard will swap lives. I have never felt more sorry for Amanda Beard... or her husband, for that matter.

Though both Heidi and Spencer have proven themselves to be the worst of the worst reality stars out there, one of them is definitely the greater of two evils. While I'm sure that the husband Heidi ends up with for the week will be so grateful to have his Olympian back by the end of the show, it in no way compares to the agony of putting up with Spencer for an entire week. Poor Amanda.

I watched every single episode of The Hills so I basically feel like I did live with Spencer, and no one should have to go through that experience unless separated by the TV screen. No one. I am already cringing at the thought of the stupid, asinine things this flesh-color-bearded man will do in the one week that his wife is gone. I think that my girl, Lauren Conrad, really said it best:

So how could Spencer drive his "new wife" Amanda insane? Here are the things about Spencer that would make anyone go crazy.

His gross food etiquette


His "crystal healing" as a means of self-improvement

Why be a good person when you can crystal, you know?

His delusions of grandeur

Yes, Spencer thought he was bigger than Paul McCartney, Madonna, and the Pope.

His anger issues

"Hi!" "I HATE YOU."

His "art"

Watch your walls around Spencer. He's a fan of indoor graffiti and flames.

His logical reasoning

Um, true?

And, really, just his face in general

Scariest. Thing. Ever.

Good luck, Amanda. You're going to need it.

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