Not a 'The Fault in Our Stars' Fan? Here's How to Cope With Everyone Who Is
Is The Fault in Our Stars shaming a thing yet? Because I'm sort of feeling like it is. I'm one of those rare Galapagoes turtles that has never read the book nor is interested in seeing the film this weekend. GASP! THE HORROR! THE HORROR! I've taken my fair share of side eye and gaffaws of, "Oh my god seriously!? That is the BEST book I've read in years. HOW HAVE YOU NOT READ IT?" I may have even induced some comical spit-takes of a coffee or two. The world we live in, AMIRIGHT?
The Fault in Our Stars is not the first pop culture juggernaut I've been judged for not obsessing over. The Notebook didn't make me cry and I have been labeled "dead inside" by many-a-college-gal-pal. Yeah, Ryan Gosling was totally awesome, but other than that, the movie didn't do anything for me. So call me crazy, but a star-crossed-lover sobfest in a cancer support group doesn't exactly scream "summer fun!" to me. SORRY I'M NOT SORRY EVERYONE.
I'm sure the movie is beautifully acted, written with care, and will tug all of the heart strings across our purple mountains' majesties. And by all means, go onward and choke on those M&M's while Shailene Woodey and Ansel Elgort make you wretch amongst a hundred other strangers.
But for the rest of us who don't plan on seeing TFIOS, this is how we can deal with everyone talking about it:
Pull a Homer.
Zone out. Go on, it feels good.
Start Talking About Other Tearjerkers.
Okay, so you don't want to see this movie. But I bet you can talk about Moonstruck or Up and segway the hell outta the conversation.
Bring Up Other New Releases.
Hey! Orange Is the New Black is back. LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT PLEASE.
Have a "You do you" Weekend.
While the rest of your friends are out sobbing and then talking about all of the scenes that made them sob... go on and TREAT YO SELF. Get a massage, go for a hike, order in from that really great sushi place.
See actual stars.
It's summer time! The most perfect time of year to go star gazing or go on a sexy/nerdy date to a planetarium.
Or Have Other Star-Related Watch-A-Thons
Star Wars! Star Trek! Star Search! So many other stars you can tune into! Also, hellllllooooo Harrison Ford.
Be secure in yourself enough to say, out loud, "I didn't see it and I don't plan on seeing it." Because you are you, and you are great.
Accept your fate.
You are going to be judged. And you may even judge in return, but don't let those Fault in Our Stars shamers get the best of you!