I know what you might be thinking. Are we still talking about Frozen? That movie came out seven months ago! It's summertime! Are we ever going to talk about something else? The answer to your question is no, never, we will never talk about anything else. We've seen Frozen in a lot of forms since we first stepped out of that theater, from the live-action Elsa from Frozen joining Once Upon a Time in Season 4 to the hundreds of Frozen parodies done by father-daughter teams in the past few months, so what's one more going to hurt?
Unicode is going to be releasing a range of new emojis in July 2014 and that's all the incentive we needed to celebrate the existence of two of our favorite things — Frozen and emojis — by blending them together. If you're already bored with watching and rewatching Frozen, try telling the entire Disney tale again using emojis. Just like emojis can punch up any conversation or tweet or instant message, so too can they punch up a movie that you know you're not sick of yet.
When Unicode debuts their brand new emojis, this story will get a lot more interesting, but, for now, here's what Frozen would look like if summarized in emojis. Read carefully from left to right.
If you're tilting your head, squinting your eyes, and trying hard to follow the storyline here, the handy emoji summary also comes with a less handy translation for those who need it.
Once upon a time, a princess named Elsa was born with ice powers. Elsa and her younger sister Anna had fun making snowmen named Olaf in the house, but Elsa accidentally froze Anna's mind and their parents had to save her and remove Anna's memories of Elsa's powers until Elsa could control them. Their parents died and many years and several tears later, Elsa was crowned Queen of Arendelle. There was a huge party, during which Anna got engaged to a prince named Hans and, when Elsa disapproved, Anna inadvertently revealed her ice powers to the world.
Elsa ran up a mountain where she built a kingdom of isolation and a giant snow monster. Anna, meanwhile, ran into a man named Kristoff and his reindeer-horse Sven and together they climbed the mountain to Elsa. Anna revealed that Elsa had frozen all of Arendelle and, in the resulting panic attack, Elsa accidentally froze Anna's heart. Kristoff raced to get Anna to Hans so that true love's kiss could cure her curse, but Hans turned out to be evil and broke Anna's heart.
When Kristoff realized he loved Anna, he raced back to her, but Anna chose to sacrifice herself to save her sister instead and Elsa realized love was the way to control her powers. With a sudden burst, she thawed the winter. Anna punched Hans in his big evil face and then she and Elsa and Kristoff and Sven and Olaf the snowman lived happily ever after.
As an alternate option, you could always just watch the movie again to figure out what all those emojis are supposed to mean. Once you have, the next time you want to give a friend a quick summary of what Frozen was about, just show them that picture. They'll either get it right away or need to see the movie in order to understand it and, either way, Frozen wins.