Does Thomas Muller Have a Girlfriend? Germany's World Cup Star Is Happily...

You might know Thomas Müller as the German soccer dynamo who pulled off that hat trick during Monday’s World Cup face-off between Germany and Portugal. The Germans pummeled the Portuguese in a 4-0 victory, that couldn’t have been accomplished without Thomas Müller's mind-blowing skills. Having scored six goals in his World Cup career, 24-year-old Müller came to Brazil this year ready to defend his title from the 2010 tournament as Germany’s top scorer. Other than standing out for his soccer prowess, Müller was also the target of Pepe’s notorious head-butting tantrum. Yeah, that was brutal. Did anyone else want to just hold a ice pack to his belly, stroke his forehead, and assure him that everything was going to heal just fine? Well, try not to get too disappointed, because that belly is not up for stroking. Thomas Müller is married and 100 percent off the market.

Munich's football star has been wedded to Lisa Müller, née Trede, since 2009. Lisa, 24, is a model, as well as a professional equestrian, and the two have basically spent their whole adult lives together. Get this: they were still in their teens when they got hitched! Thomas proposed to his Lisa on Christmas Eve in 2008, when the they were both just 18 years old. What’s more, they had only been dating for a year at the time.

I know what you’re thinking... Save these kids from their own impetuous teenage decisions, for they know not what they do! But today, both are not even in their mid-twenties and still going strong. This makes this their fifth year of marriage, and they aren’t even old enough to rent a car in the States. Welp, I guess the early twenties existential and romantic limbo just isn’t for everyone. Different strokes for different folks, right?

Matthew Lewis/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Müller recovered from the Pepe incident like the champ he is. I mean, your body can really take some tough stuff when you're still in your pre-quarter century golden years!

Despite the fact that the two are going on half a decade of marriage, they’re still totally sweet on each other. Thomas has called Lisa “the woman of his dreams.” Dawww! This kind of fairytale overkill is normally super schmaltzy, but these two youngin’s are pretty endearing. The couple reportedly wears matching half-heart pendants at all times. I can’t give anyone who wears throwback Claire's jewelry serious grief.