Taylor Swift's Mansion Was Vandalized In a Total Drunken Prank Fail

A bit of playful vandalism is just the paprika in the stew of reckless youth. Just try to confine the mischief to one night and refrain from getting too drunk while you’re at it, because before you know it, you’ll be thinking it’s a good idea to vandalize Taylor Swift’s house and that won't end well for you. On Sunday, three twenty-somethings were arrested for chucking beer bottles onto the lawn of Taylor Swift’s Rhode Island mansion. And she wasn't even home, probably because she's was busy taking selfies with the Barefoot Contessa. Playful mischief-making aside, this is the worst idea ever. Stars' residences come standard with a battalion of guards, something most sober minds will realize. Also, maybe pick someone who has fewer people in her corner than the queen regent of BFF's.

TMZ broke the news today that the assailing youths were charged with disorderly conduct in accordance with the incident. In addition to throwing the bottles, the three people were hurling expletives and making obscene gestures at her guards. And what is to blame for these shenanigans? Why, it’s the treacherous power of alcohol! Tristan Kading, one of the people arrested, told TMZ that he and his cronies “harbored no ill will toward Swift. They were just drinking and it got out of hand.” Kading went on to explain that he and his friends were not flipping the guards off. They were making peace signs, just like Tay-tay does in her video for "22."

So basically, this was all a hilarious misunderstanding that will culminate in the feuding parties eating pie. I applaud Kading's commitment to his story, but we all know a specious hungover excuse when we hear one. While the sauce can lead us to do some pretty zany things, this explanation is just BAD. Be an adult, and check yourself before you proverbially wreck yourself. If you wanna get drunk and out of hand, do it in a responsible way. Just make out with a lamppost, puke up all the Captain Morgan, and pee the bed like the rest of us.

Or dance!! That's what Taylor would do.

Images: Giphy; Vulture