'The Bachelorette': Des and Kasey's "Disastrous" Date

The Event: "Bandaloop" rope gymnastics somewhere in Hollywood; a rooftop snuggle sesh interrupted by gale force winds

The Guy: Kasey, 29 y.o. advertising exec. from Tulsa, OK

What Kasey wants out of The Bachelorette: "If I decided to go on the show it would be because there is a very good moraled fun girl as the Bachelorette. I would be going to see if there was a connection between me and her and if there was a future with us."

After their first one-on-one date, can Kasey know if there's a future for him and and Des? Every knocked-over potted plant around them seemed to suggest, "NO, NOT REALLY," but then again, signs lie. Maybe the excessive wind was meant to confirm just how natural and...powerful the connection shared between the two? Lights blown out. Topiaries sent skidding along the pool deck. That's real passion, baby, the kind even Juan Pablo can't replicate with his near-naked cowboy act, or ABC/Disney Lone Ranger (co-starring Armie Hammer!) assist. That's nature.

Of course then Des calls it a "disastrous" date, the "weirdest" ever, and there's not much to do but analyze it to within an inch of its life. Which, don't you know, we're going to do right now!

Kasey's date offered a pretty clear divide between its fun and less fun moments, the former defined by this rappelling adventure called "bandaloop." To the best of my knowledge an activity initiated way back by Argentinian window washers looking to ratchet up their daily excitement, bandalooping involves rappelling down a building -- preferably all glass -- only to sort of dance, fly around horizontally. It isn't for the faint of heart. Which is why, as Des pointed out it's "so nice to have support."

I give points for the off-the-beaten-path quality of last night's date in addition to its name, which I initially wrote down as "bandelion." But as a DIY operation? I've got to dock almost ALL those points when it's a) something I've never heard of before, and I hate feeling ignorant and b) not easily replicated on less than a 10-story building. Some of us live between an assortment of ranchers!

DIY Score: 3/10, for lack of replicability

Things got way less fun when Des and Kasey made their way to some Hollywood rooftop pool, at which some serious winds were wreaking havoc on the pool furniture and topiaries. Could things be any more uncomfortable? Eventually the two hopped in the pool, hoping to warm off, but even that proved less than advantageous.

What about the kiss? Let's say...

Kiss Score: 6/10

"Can I kiss you?" as Bryden asked last week, is a pretty easily crossed hurdle for any and all of the guys to get one-on-ones from here on. But then again there's also the quality of the kiss which extends so far beyond initial confidence into areas of rhythm, thrust, and that undefinable "it" factor. Did Kasey and Des have it?

Ehh. No one lost an eye or needed the Heimlich, which can only be a positive, but launched into under totally perfunctory conditions the kiss lacked spontaneity or excitement -- BOTH crucial toward landing those 8 and 9 scores. And when you've got that built-in sextastic advantage of a pool makeout, it's doubly frustrating to see just tepid pecks. Pool ALWAYS means "put some English on it," man.

In the end, of course, the only metric of any consequence is this: did the date prove himself worthy enough of another shot? In tonight's case the answer was once again "YES." Which makes me wonder -- is Desiree just too nice to actually pull the trigger on some of these guys (and murder them, with her lack of love)? Are we going to see guys like Kasey just keep sneaking through until a real act of God, or maybe Odysseus, wipes them all clean?


(That would actually be pretty wild if the season ended with every suitor dead at the hands of Desiree's long-lost Greek husband, finally returned home. I'd give that episode a great write-up!)