Listen, you guys: Gary Oldman said some sketchy-ass shit Monday, which means that by Monday night I was feeling pretty untrusting towards anything involving people turning into animals and fighting off the forces of darkness. I know my strong association between Gary Oldman and The Prisoner of Azkaban should have worn off approximately a decade ago, but here we are, and it hasn't, and I entered Teen Wolf's "The Dark Moon" in a very weird headspace, and I just need everyone to know that.
Gary Oldman may have only been a small slice of it, to be fair. The other big aspects of weirdness between me and Teen Wolf this season are giant letters spelling out the name of Allison Argent, who I've decided is either living it up at Valhalla High prom up in heaven (theme: The Trojan War) or off in France training her hunter skills and definitely not dead at all. I also realized as I watched the last few minutes of Season 3 on MTV Monday night that I had completely forgotten that they'd killed off the douchier of the weretwins. So Teen Wolf and I are in a weird place right now: It's like Teen Wolf's that jock who think he's as popular as ever and struts down the halls with this neat swagger throwing "the nod" at every lady he passes, while I trade snarky tumblr text posts with all those ladies in realtime making fun of all his decisions. We're working through some things.
But Teen Wolf seems to know something's up, and also that there's this kind of niche demand these days for homicidally badass women who don't give no shits, and so they brought Kate Argent back. Note taken, Teen Wolf; touche. In contrast to the Peter Hales and the Gerards and the general endless parade of white dudes this show's refused to kill, it's actually kind of refreshing to hear that Kate Argent's a weird blue werething who slaughtered like six dudes on her way out of captivity. That might be an effed up mindset to go into this season with, but I've accepted it as my own.
In related developments: Despite offing Allison last season, Teen Wolf this season actually seems to be functioning as a mish-mash of lady-ensemble (plus Scott and Stiles!), which would be something I'd be jumping for joy over if I got the sense they actually knew what to do with a cast that seems to be 75 percent still relatively new to the show.
Maybe I've been burned too many times? Gone through too many Erica Reyeses and Cora Hales, there one second and trying to star on The CW the next? Regardless, the show's rotating cycle of new characters has led to an ensemble arguably full of great people but not provided with a stable enough base to actually dig into much. Examples: Braeden and Malia both probably have loads of promise, but they come across here more like transparent outlines scribbled on a writer's room whiteboard than like actual people worth investing in. Half the people on this show just feel like randos, you know what I'm saying? And Malia Tate is no Anya Jenkins.
Then again, it's the beginning of the season, so I could very easily be judging prematurely. Kate Argent's the most dynamic villain we've had in a while, if only because her motivation lies in her upbringing with a family we've had four seasons to get to know. She's also keeping Derek hostage, which she should stop doing because my god hasn't he been kidnapped enough?? There should really just be a permanent Amber Alert out for Derek Hale. "If seen, please return directly to Scott McCall."
Sometimes you can just tell when a writer's room is throwing a shit-ton of ideas at the board and seeing what sticks. Teen Wolf is one of those shows. Kate Argent stuck, apparently, once scheduling allowed. Cora, Jackson, Erica, and Boyd did not. Isaac's still up in the air, even though his wounded sassy puppy thing is what this show needs right now. Kira will probably stick now that Allison's gone. I read something scary about Malia "mating for life" with Stiles so maybe that'll stick, too?? Do we even want it to?? Who the hell even knows what's up with Braeden, or where the hell Kendra from Buffy the Vampire Slayer went. All I know is that if Faith Lehane or Buffy Summers crashed this joint they'd have this all sorted out in a jiffy.
And no, I'm not even going to address that cliffhanger, because I don't even know, man.