Donatella Reviews "The Elusive Chanteuse"

Few reviews of Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse have resonated with me quite like the one written by a certain fashion legend. Are you ready for this? Donatella Versace reviewed Mimi’s thirteenth album for Vogue UK’s site. I can’t read that sentence without smiling like Dug the dog. The fashion diva's review of the pop diva's latest offering is everything I wanted it to be and more.

But before Donatella digs into a few choice tracks, she provides readers with the Donatella/Mimi backstory:

Mariah Carey is such an important part of my life, it feels like I've known her forever. The first time I met her was at one of my fashion shows. Straightaway, she made me laugh, and I knew immediately that we'd be friends.

AUUGHHHHHH. She goes on for a few paragraphs (and yes, every paragraph is worth reading. Don't you want to know the tale of Donatella and Mimi, as told by Donatella?! Go to Vogue UK's site ASAP), and then, the review part begins.

I... it's just... beyond. It's a lovely endorsement of a lovely album. And yes, I am on board with every last one of Donatella's thoughts/opinions/feelings regarding Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse.

Donatella has Mimi’s version of “One More Try” on repeat? Me too. Donatella noticed the vibrato in little Monroe’s voice during “Supernatural”? YAAAAAS. Donatella says “You Don’t Know What To Do” and “Meteorite” make her feel like dancing? I’m in the same boat. “#Beautiful” is “pure Mariah magic"? Nail on the head.

Though I believe in my heart of hearts that Donatella wrote this review without prompt, Gawker's Rich Juzwiak—quite possibly the greatest Mimi analyst/fan ever—planted this seed in my mind:

I want a one-act play depicting Mariah calling up Donatella to ask her to write this, and then [Gina] Gershon reciting all of it.

Oh my god. I can't control my body.

Image: imwithkanye/tumblr