Is Brian Osborne The King Of Normal?

by Paige Tutt

There generally aren't photos next to dictionary definitions, but the Bachelorette's Brian Osbourne makes a good case for the practice. This guy is a totally textbook normal dude.

He's sort of like the guy next door. I spent a few days trying to figure out what food Brian is like. It'd be something simple, something you can't mess up, something you feel safe with. But on the other hand, it'd be something you could spice up, something that would surprise you at times, something you always crave. Butter? No. Sour Cream? No. Boiled Oats? Ew, gross. No. But then, I figured it out: Brian is your normal, average, run of the mill American boy next door, and what's a normal, average, run of the mill American food? Why a good ol' fashioned hamburger, that's what. Brian is the hamburger of this batch of contestants.

Come on, what's more normal than a good ol' American boy. And what's so normal about Brian, you ask? Well, let me show you:

He's Completely Awkward

Here's Brian going in for a hug on the season premiere of The Bachelorette Season 10. As you would think, it was a little awkward, which is totally normal.

Brian eats normal people food and has normal friends.

Doesn't get much more normal than that.

He Works At a High School

Brian's not a Pantsapreneur or a World Traveler or even a Personal Trainer. He's a High School Basketball Coach. How freakin' normal is that?

He Uses Social Media — Just Like Us!

Brian has a Twitter, which in this day and age, is pretty normal. Brian tweets a lot about the World Cup, as does every other sports loving American. He also tweeted about watching TFIOS and used the hashtag #crybabies, so that's a thing.

Brian's Instagram Bio? You guessed it. Norm-core city.

Coach/Player/Brother/Son/Friend. Anti-Negative Nancy policy holder. A Rom-Com enthusiast. Sports junky. Harrisburg, PA

He's Great At His Job

Here's a video of Brian dunking, which is a totally normal activity, if you're a basketball coach that is.

He's Got Normal Footwear

According to ABC's Bachelorette site, Brian lists himself as a size 10.5 shoe. A little research on StatisticBrain.com showed the average shoe size of the American male is... yep, 10.5. You know what they say about... men with normal sized feet. They wear normal sized shoes.

He Likes All The Most Normal Movies

If you asked any guy to even name a RomCom, I'm sure they'd be able to at least come up with The Notebook. But, Brian will do you one better. He listed The Notebook as one of his three top favorite movies in his Bachelorette profile. Normal guys have feelings too, you know.

Reportedly, Brian answered your average desert island rations question by saying he'd bring The Bible, sunscreen and a surfboard to keep him busy and safe. Those are some pretty run of the mill choices. Honestly, I'd bring a lifetime supply of wine, Ryan Gosling, and a few hundred bags of Sour Cream and Cheddar chips. Then again, I'm nowhere near normal.

He Knows The Power of JT

In February, Brian posted about how much he loves Justin Timberlake on his Facebook. Honestly, anyone who doesn't love JTimb is seriously disturbed and should see someone about it. Still looking pretty normal to me, Osborne.

I've come to the conclusion that Brian Osborne is indeed King of the Normal, Keeper of the Realm of the Average, and Lord of The Seven Kingdoms of All American Ordinary. The only thing I found about Brian that wasn't totally normal was that he gives a Blue Steel look that would rival even Derek Zoolander himself. Work it, Ozzy.

Images: Giphy; Tinypic (screengrab), coach_osbourne/Twitter, USMagazine, brosbourne/Facebook