What Time Are The TV Fireworks On For the East Coast? We Need To Appropriately Time Our Clam Bakes

The 4th of July is about hotdogs, too much booze, wearing red lipstick because it's okay to, but mostly, the American-filled day is about fireworks. Because, honestly, aren't bright, loud colors shooting into the (humid) night sky the perfect way to end your day of patriotic drinking? Well, Macy's certainly thinks so. Macy's annual 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular is back again for a night of music, pyrotechnics, more music, and, this year, a lot of Nick Cannon hamming it up as host. The festivities are set to kick off at 8 p.m. ET with an hour of performances before the light show "starts" at 9 p.m. (although I think we can all confidently agree that the fireworks never start on time). And then after that? More singing. The musical guests this year are Ariana Grande, Hunter Hayes, Miranda Lambert, and Lionel Richie (fingers crossed for a swoon-worthy rendition of Richie's "Hello"... and that his name won't be misspelled again a la the 2014 BET Awards).

But let's get to the juicy details of the night: the fireworks. This year, the department store known for its banging fireworks display is bringing the 25-minute light show back to the East River. Specifically, the spectacle will showcase (and highlight) the Brooklyn Bridge (and its architecture) for the first time since 1995. And according to CBS New York's interview with Amy Kuhl, the show's executive producer, they're going to detonate about 50,000 pounds of fireworks. Yeah, that's a lot of exploding lights. And because the theme of this year's display is "The 200th anniversary of the 'Star-Spangled Banner,'" they've got something special hidden up their sleeves. Show designer Gary Souza revealed in the interview that they're creating "a flag off of the bridge and sending red and white cascade stripes along from the roadway down towards the water with swirling blue stars above that and blue shells bursting high." George Washington would be proud.

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So now you know when and where the fireworks will take place, but do you know what your favorite pop culture-inspired firework says about you? (Probably not, because that's a weird thing to know about yourself.) Take a look at some of pop-culture pyrotechnics and what they reveal about your personality:

Hulk Hogan Fireworks

Man, do you know how to rock out. All you need is a brewsky and some shades to have a good time.

Gandalf Fireworks

There's nothing more you like to do than to wow the audience... and then brush it off like it was no big deal.

Mariah Carey Fireworks

You like a little drama in your life. Hey, nothin' wrong with that.

Duck Dynasty Sparklers

You're the kind of person who sets off fireworks in your backyard whenever you fuckin' feel like it.

Michael Cera Fireworks

You're the type of person who winks at people like it's a normal thing to do.

Leonardo DiCaprio Fireworks

You're literally the classiest motherfucker in the room.

Aladdin Fireworks

You're a romantic, but also you think that PDA is totally okay.

Adventure Time Fireworks

You're always up for a good dick joke.

Lauren Conrad Sparklers

You're actually good at DIY projects and you just absolutely love Coachella.

Katy Perry Fireworks

You're a teenager at heart. Also, you've always wanted to know what it would be like to shoot fireworks out of your boobs. No judgement.

Happy 4th of July to all, and to all a drunken night! Now go and react to fireworks like this baby did:

Images: Getty Images; giphy.com (11)