UK department store Debenhams conducted an online survey of more than 1,500 customers, asking them to name the fashion faux pas that they absolutely couldn't stand, and the results are in. Forget Céline's furry Birkenstocks — these aesthetically offensive trends have '90s written all over them. Are people really still wearing most of these?
10. Scrunchies: Cute on toddlers. Horrible on everyone else. Not a lot of leeway on this non-trend. After all, who can forget the infamous argument between Carrie Bradshaw and Jack Berger about his fictional New York socialite's scrunchie habit?
9. Trucker hats: They may be a bit bro-like, but apparently the UK finds Ashton Kutcher's favorite accessory extremely displeasing. Trucker hats with "ironic" slogans are almost worse than offensive tees, but a well-tilted baseball cap? Not outside of a baseball game, says Debenhams.
8. Shell suit: It's basically a shiny polyester tracksuit, like the kind Ali G likes to wear, and it was popular in the hip-hop/breakdancing scene of the '80s. The really terrifying news here is that the shell suit is apparently still relevant enough for people to have a problem with it.
7. Bum bags: More Brit slang for you — this simply means a fanny pack (although when's the last time you saw someone wearing these over their bum/fanny?). Stick to your classic leather tote, because this is not an approved method of carting around your phone and debit card.
6. Crop tops: Awkward, since crop tops are really in right now. But apparently they also make Debenhams customers' eyeballs fall out. Is it just me, or is this survey starting to seem like it was taken by a bunch of bitter grandparents?
5. Harem pants: Another on-trend item that has received massive criticism and that — ironically enough — looks fantastic paired with a crop top.
4. Velour tracksuits: No kidding, these things are awful. But who wears them anymore? The last time I saw a Juicy Couture tracksuit was under my grandparents' 2005 Christmas tree. It wasn't intended for me. But I'm not bitter.
3. Low-slung trousers: Unless they're David Beckham's low-slung trousers, we simply don't want see 'em.
2. Platforms for men: Well, this is just unfair to Tom Cruise. Again, I'm surprised this trend is so prevalent that people feel the need to rail against it. What about Uggs, for fashion's sake? What about Uggs with embellishments? What about knock-off Uggs?
And the chief fashion offender? Ladies and gentleman, it's the antithesis of summer comfort and a favorite of Carrie Bradshaw and Sarah Jessica Parker alike:
1. Socks with sandals: Despite the fact that Chanel, Dior, Burberry, and Vuitton have recently sent models waltzing down the runway sporting a chic socks + sandals combination, the average observer is not swayed. Ed Watson, a spokesperson for Debenhams, insists that "socks and sandals are the epitome of British summer style gone wrong."
The survey-takers have spoken. So what's next for you? Will you replace that scrunchie with a clip and pull up your baggy jeans? Or are you planning to shimmy around town in a trucker hat and harem pants, sporting the unspeakable horror of socks and sandals on your rebellious feet?