'Catfish' Blake & Kiersten Take It To A Whole New Level of Lies
Well, we have good news and we have bad news. The bad news: Catfish' s third season officially wraps up this week, which means it's going to be awhile before we see the always adorable Nev and Max again. The good news? MTV is giving us back to back episodes tonight and tomorrow night, which I think is a perfect ending to a season that's been all about smashing Catfish norms into tiny little pieces. On tonight's episode, "Blake and Kiersten," a sweet dude named Blake met a model named Kiersten from Dallas, Texas on Twitter. In Max's words, "Does it ever actually turn out to be a model?" No, no it does not.
However Blake's already figured this out — in fact, unlike most who seek Nev and Max's assistance, he's done some background research, and already knows that his online girlfriend is using a name and pictures that don't belong to her. She's actually Kendra, but since her personality is what reeled Blake in, he's ready to meet her and find out if their relationship can turn into something real.
And once Max and a crutch-bound Nev (seriously, when is this guy not injured?) hobble down to Blake's Los Angeles apartment, he reveals the ridiculous number of red flags that have popped up since he first discovered Kiersten was a fake. Like, um, she's related to David Hasselhoff and dated Michael Phelps. Blake. Sweetheart. There's no way you possibly could have believed any of this, right? And you still want to find out if she's "the girl for me?" Oh boy. Best of all? The new profile she set up is using brand new photos from a girl with some intense eyebrow game who is, all things considered, probably not actually Kendra either. Nev and Max certainly have their work cut out for them tonight.
After doing a little research — and vid chatting with Sara Grace, the girl in the pictures that Kendra used — they come to the completely predictable conclusion that Kendra is still lying, and she's actually using yet another girl's photos to pose as Kendra. Of course she is, right? So they video chat with this next girl, who's already aware of Kendra's existence. Small world! Unfortunately, neither of these girls are giving us any new information... or anything we can actually use. Thanks, guys. So the investigation continues.
"All these profiles scared the shit out of me," Blake says. "She is batshit." But he wants to meet her anyway? You just said it yourself, something's off here. I've never actively shaken my head at the TV so much as I did during this episode. Why are we still here? Because this is Catfish, and because we thrive on drama in our lives. Blake, somewhere in his misguided little heart, wants to believe that something real could still develop with his very, very fake girlfriend, and I will wait to meet her before I decide she's not worth his time. The phone call from Nev to Kendra, though? Not so convincing. She agrees to meet up with them (after questioning, in the fakest voice known to man, why Blake would ask for the help of Catfish in the first place) and we're off to... Idaho. Yeah, not Dallas, not even a little bit.
As per Catfish tradition, we head to Nev and Max's favorite meet up place: The local park. And, pretty painlessly, Kendra shows up — her name is actually Kendra, but she's obviously not the same girl from the pictures, and unremorsefully so. She says she works for a sports firm, has a son, and appears to be confused as to why she's being asked so many questions. Have you ever watched Catfish? You should not be the confused person here.
Apparently Kendra's trying to play it safe on the internet by giving guys she meets fake profiles until she gets to know them better, and she's part of a whole group of girls who do the same thing. She sees absolutely nothing wrong with this, and can't believe that she's being subjected to this game of 20 questions, so she storms off, shouting, "You can just go home!" Is this enough to prove she's not the right girl for you, Blake? Is it??
A little too late, Kendra peels off her hard exterior to let out the emotions when she meets up with Nev, Max, and Blake the next day. She was afraid of getting rejected, but that's hard to believe when she starts getting really, really defensive with Max — and whining that she's being judged by these strangers while her son is in the hospital. (As of yet, we haven't actually seen this son, and I'm doubting the idea that she's telling the truth about him, either.)
I'm so done with this girl, and fortunately, so is Blake. He's decided to focus on his career now that this Kendra thing is over and done with, and as for Kendra? She's given up her fake Facebook profile career altogether. Or so we hope.