Okay, guys. I’m as sad about the loss of Crumbs as the next sweet tooth-afflicted American. But this? This is bordering on insanity. No, actually — it’s beyond insanity. The last batches of Crumbs cupcakes have hit eBay, and some of them are going for more than some people make in a week.
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.
The most notable listing appeared yesterday, according to TIME. It’s of the Happy Birthday variety, making it a vanilla buttercream-filled hunk of vanilla cake topped with vanilla cream cheese frosting and coated liberally with rainbow sprinkles inside and out; the listing even includes a photograph of the receipt, which states that it was purchased at the former 261 W. 42nd St. location in New York at 2:43pm on Monday, July 7. The seller states in the item’s description that he or she is freezing it to keep it from going stale, but let’s face: Frozen cake isn’t really much better than stale cake. There are currently two bids for it, the highest of which is $255.
That’s right. $255. For a cupcake. This cupcake, to be exact:
Nor is this the only Crumbs treat for sale on the online auction site. For example, someone else has a 12-piece box of cinnamon crumb cake with a starting bid of $250; and perhaps most shockingly, another seller is attempting to get at least $350 for a box of three cupcakes (Red Velvet, Cookies and Cream, and Peanut Butter Cup).
I ask you this: Why on earth would anyone pay $300 for a stale cupcake?! No cupcake is worth that amount of money, unless it is made solid gold and studded with precious gemstones, in which case no one would be eating it anyway.
Another thing to bear in mind is that it’s possible — likely, even — that not all of these cupcakes are actually from Crumbs. Countless careless consumers have been scammed on eBay in the past by counterfeiters hocking everything from fake high-end cosmetics to phony brand name electronics; compared to items like those, counterfeiting a big-ass cupcake is child’s play. For example, that $350 box of three I mentioned previously? The same seller has a second listing with what look like the exact same photographs with an asking price of $275, so either s/he’s got two sets of three, or one or both of the auctions is fake (or, alternatively, s/he just accidentally posted two auctions. I’m skeptical, though). Also, check out this one, allegedly featuring a Peanut Butter Cup cupcake:
I don’t know, man. It doesn’t look quite like an actual Crumbs cupcake. Maybe it’s just suffering from poor photography, but something seems off. For reference, here's a bonafide Crumbs Peanut Butter Cup cupcake:
Even if all of these listing are real, though, I would strongly, strongly caution anyone against dropping that much cash for a pastry. There are other cupcakes in the world, many of which are as good as or better than Crumbs, and pretty much all of which won’t bankrupt you when you eat them. Also, there’s this: According to CNBC, the bake shop may be close to securing financing from a new set of investors that includes Marcus Lemonis, host of The Profit and CEO of Camping World. If the deal goes through, Crumbs will likely become part of a larger entity that includes Sweet Pete’s Candy, which was featured on a recent episode of The Profit.
So, to sum up: Crumbs may not be totally dead after all, eBay is crazy, and please don’t spend several hundred dollars on cupcakes. Happy Thursday, everyone!
Images: eBay (2)