How many hearts does this guy want to break in one week? I mean, we're happy for Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes's pregnancy, but still. To make matters worse, Us Weekly just uncovered something from Gosling's past that'll ruin everyone's week even more than that creepy future baby photo — Ryan Gosling is probably retiring because he can't "make babies" and movies at the same time. So no more God-like rippling abs and crooked smiles for you, Gosling fans.
According to a 2011 interview with the U.K.-based The Times, Gosling said of his career, "I'm giving as much to it as a marriage," and that he'd "like to be making babies but I'm not, so I'm making movies." What the hell, Gosling? I mean, as a woman, I appreciate your dedication to sharing the parental roles with you now-future baby momma, Mendes. But can't we have it all?
Gosling continued to say that once someone "came along" that he could make babies with, he didn't think he could "do both." Meaning, babies and movies are mutually exclusive, and now that there's a Gosling-Mendes baby on the way, his retirement is certainly in the cards. The 33-year-old actor told the paper, "I'll make movies until I make babies. I have no idea when the handover will happen." Apparently, that handover is happening now — like, right now in 2014. So kiss Ryan Gosling goodbye, Hollywood.
Now that you've let the implications of this sink in — here are seven things that are quite possibly less soul-crushing that the possibility of Ryan Gosling's retirement:
The Ending of How I Met Your Mother
Ry Gos' retirement is definitely worse.
When a Contestant Cries on Chopped
Brazil's World Cup Loss
Still not as sad as the Goose hanging up his boots.
Allie Getting Engaged to Lon in The Notebook
When Jack Sacrifices Himself for Rose in Titanic
The Sopranos' Series Finale
Nope. Gos news is still worse.
The Fault in Our Stars
Alright, maybe his retirement is less soul-crushing than TFiOS, okay?