If for one second you thought Miley Cyrus was on the level, you can forget it, as her promo for MTV's Video Music Awards shows conclusively that the young "We Can't Stop" singer doesn't get New Yorkers. As lead up to the VMAs making its way to lil' old Brooklyn, this promo shows Cyrus and her graffiti-painting, fire-breathing, hard-rocking compatriots emerging from the subway tunnels to the excitement and amazement of bystanders.
But to anyone who is from New York, has spent more than five minutes in New York, or has generally read anything ever about New York and New Yorkers, an immediate problem becomes apparent. There is not a single borough, Brooklyn especially, that would celebrate Cyrus and her circus emerging from its tunnels. Know why? Because Jesus Christ could emerge from those tunnels, trailing fire breathers in his holy wake and it would still mean the same thing: train delays.
Given New Yorkers' infamous hatred of waiting (this is the city that never sleeps, right?), whose brilliant idea was it to show Cryus and crew halting subway lines and, by extension, lives with her bullshit little underground celebration? All that means to me is that the Q is going to be running behind schedule for the next two hours. Which is not a good thing. In fact, the majority of us would find that to be a frighteningly bad thing.
So the smiles and blank stares of wonder would, in reality, be harsh glares, unintelligible yelling from a homeless man who is probably wearing a beanie, and collective grumblings about how that means we're all going to miss happy hour at our fave bars that Time Out New York totally hasn't discovered yet. Oh yeah, you bet we won't sleep 'til Brooklyn, Miley Cyrus, but it's probably going to be because we're so stressed about how to commute, not because we're super de duper excited for lil' Cyrus crawling out of our subway gutters to rock our faces off. Sorry.