Kate Middleton Only Wants Personalized Gifts for George's First Birthday, Thank You Very Much

Thinking of buying Prince George a gift certificate to Baby Gap or a "My Aunt Is Hot & Single" onesie for his first birthday? Think again. Kate Middleton and Prince William would only like personalized gifts for their son, thank you very much. With the impending celebration of the little prince's July 22 birthday, the Duke and Duchess are asking that people only buy their beautiful bouncing baby baubles that have meaning. "I'm sure he'll receive some traditional luxury children's items — a rocking horse or a silver tooth fairy box," said royal biographer Marcia Moody. "But William and Kate would favor personal items like a scrapbook of his first year, with hospital tags and a lock of hair." Because gifting Kate Middleton a lock of her own child's hair wouldn't be creepy at all.

Apparently, the couple has encouraged friends and family members to make donations to a charity instead of giving their son gifts that will, more likely than not, wind up covered in royal caca. But if they are going to buy something, it best be a DIY, Pinterest-worthy creation. Decoupaged mason jar covered in Prince George tabloid clippings? Yes. Lame silver rattle? No. (In fact, anything involving a mason jar is probably okay.)

Pretty much everything Kate Middleton does — walks, breathes, laughs, farts — makes her infinitely more adorable, and this, right here, is no exception. She's basically asking people to save their money in order to give her son something with real substance, something he'll cherish forever, as opposed to some overpriced, mass-produced poppycock. But man, talk about pressure. It's almost as if William and Kate are sitting people down in a room, handing them a glue gun, tin can, and some glitter, and are saying, "Please my son. Now."

I think I speak for all of us when I say: It's times like these it's good to be outside the royal family's social circle.