11 Ways to Accessorize With Birth Control

You'll get the lipstick off your teeth, and you'll also look like you reflect on the long, tumultuous history of the oral contraceptive.

What's the point in hiding them away in your uterus?

Keep your child's head warm as you pay tribute to his roots.

Good, clean home decor: Lather this uterus in soap instead of spermicide!

Bet it'd pop on a charm bracelet, too.

When the military started mandating these frames for glasses-wearing recruits, the soldiers dubbed them Birth Control Glasses (BCGs) in honor of their sex-repellent qualities. Subsequent birthrates at military bases dropped dramatically. That last part's not true, but now you can wear them, too!

Because what better to protect your phone than protection?

Synthetic estrogen in hormonal birth control pills stops the pituitary gland from producing follicle stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone in order to prevent ovulation. Meanwhile, this necklace,will hang around your neck.

Permanent sterilization? Try these voodoo-quality Fallopian tubes that also happen to help you sew baby clothes for your friends.

Because when your man decides to go under the knife, heck, he deserves cupcakes.

Let it, uh, all hang out.