An Official Ranking Of Their Most Honest Lyrics

by Rachel Semigran

In an exclusive interview with The Hollywood Reporter, musical comedy duo Garfunkel and Oates (aka Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome) have announced a 14-stop live tour. The hilarious pair will kick off in Houston, on August 22 and finish in Boston on December 6. The live show will promote their new series for IFC, which premieres on August 7, just two weeks before the start of the tour. They will be sponsored by the Monster Energy Outbreak Comedy Tour and have commented, "Just a lot of energy and a tour. We can't wait!"

Their fans surely can't wait, either. Micucci and Lindhome have built a large and devoted fanbase since getting their start at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York City back in 2007. Since then, they've found fame through posting gut-busting videos on YouTube of their seemingly cute tunes with painfully honest and explicit lyrics. They've also appeared in their own Comedy Central specials and have released two albums, Slippery When Moist and All Over Your Face. Don't let the ukulele and perfectly-trimmed bangs fool you, these ladies are far from saccharine.

To get you pumped for the upcoming IFC series and live tour, here's an official ranking of their most horrifyingly true lyrics:

#7: "End of Year Letter"

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Most accurate line: "If you're ever wondering if I'm wondering how you are, I'm not/ And if you're wondering why you never got a Christmas card from me, I forgot/ And if you're wondering how much I hate your year end letter, a lot."

Everyone has that friend they lost touch with... on purpose. And sometimes that ex-friend just doesn't get it. Also, no one actually likes receiving those End of Year letters. ICK.

#6: "This Party Took a Turn for the Douce"

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Most accurate line: "Then the techno music starts to play/ And the room smells like Axe body spray/ I'm like Golda Mier with no gold in my ear/ Please tell me what the hell happened here/ Yo, it ain't pretty but you know it's the truth/ This party just took a turn for the douche."

This is seriously the fastest way to ruin your night.

#5: "Gay Boyfriend"

Most accurate line: "I've never felt so happy before, he's almost Mr. Right/ But I think he's hot and I think he's sweet/ And I think he's gay and I think he's neat/ Okay, okay, so my boyfriend's gay."

Sigh, been there.

#4: "29/31"

Most accurate line: "THERE'S NOBODY LEFT/ I'M ALL ALONE."

Oh the difference between being 29 and being 31...

#3: "My Apartment's Very Clean Without You"

Most accurate line: "The economy's crumbling around us/ And the whole world's getting too hot/ But the thing that really makes me sad/ Is the pair of socks you forgot/ Yes, it's true/ My apartment's way too clean without you."

Break-ups are the worst, and even the funniest of comedians know there's no easy way around that.

#2: "Pregnant Women are Smug"

Most accurate line: "Pregnant women are smug/ Everyone knows it, nobody says it/ Because they're pregnant."


#1: "I Don't Understand Job"

Most accurate line: "The top is the part that confuses me the most/ It looks like a Silly Putty Pac Man ghost/ Sometimes it's jello jiggling, sometimes it's denser/ But they all look like a Darth Vader Pez dispenser."

Finally, FINALLY someone has brought up this plight.

Ah, truth in comedy. Can't wait to see these two live!

Images: IFC/HOBHouston/AdaptiveStudios/TheLaughButton/Twitter