Jessica Simpson Tries to Make “Jessica Johnson” Happen, But It Definitely Won’t Catch On

Jessica Simpson recently celebrated her July 5 wedding to Eric Johnson, her longtime boyfriend and baby daddy, by sharing a sexy selfie. What, you celebrate differently? Simpson posted a pic to Instagram where she looks, quite frankly, unbelievable, clad in an adorable one-piece bathing suit with a festive, fruity-looking drink in hand. But perhaps the most surprising thing about Simpson's 'gram is that she refers to herself as Jessica Johnson, as opposed to Jessica Simpson. It has a great ring to it, but she doesn't really think anyone will refer to her as this, does she?

The decision to change one's name after getting married is a personal one. It isn't for everyone, and it's seen as antiquated by some, but there certainly is something a little romantic about it. Two are becoming one. (Or, you know, whatever uncheesy way you want to put it.) However, it's always a skosh mind-boggling when celebs do it. Will anyone ever refer to Kim Kardashian as Kim West? Did anyone ever call Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Pitt? Who, in their right mind, will ever say: "Did you check out the new Elle with Jessica Johnson on it?" Sorry, Jess. Just like you never became known as Jessica Lachey, you'll likely never be known as Jessica Johnson. And, hey! That's a good thing! That's because you've built a bad-ass career all by yourself.

Also, for what it's worth, although the alliteration rolls off the tongue, Jessica Johnson does sound a tad porny.

Image: Jessica Simpson/Instagram