Oregon Campus Cops Sued Over Insane List

A former public safety officer is suing the University of Oregon, claiming he was fired in October 2012 after reporting misconduct within the campus police department. So what were these shenanigans he reported, exactly? Oh, just the Oregon campus police department's alleged "Bowl of Dicks List."

Yup. If you're already thinking you know what it is, you probably do. James Cleavenger, the fired officer, alleges that the list was updated during pre-shift meetings held for the graveyard shift officers. Cleavenger also claims that Lt. Brandon Lebrecht, who led the meetings, allowed brainstorming time for new list items during these briefings. The list, Cleavenger says, was updated throughout the shift and discussed further in Lebrecht's office.

Judging by the campus police officers I've encountered, I would much rather have someone scheming who needs to consume a bowl of genitalia than trolling outside the dorms at 3 a.m. looking for drunk freshmen to bust. But Cleavenger wasn't amused.

Cleavenger told KVAL he was "disappointed no one would listen to me ... I was forced into filing this lawsuit."

Here's the best part: Lebrecht, the man who allegedly allowed this list to blossom during work hours, is now the lieutenant in charge of "Professional Standards and Training." Oh, that's good.

You can definitely see the brainstorming at work while reading the list; it rolls through musicians, the cast of Friends, and oddly specific items and entities that the officers apparently dislike. It is refreshing to see, too, that it thinks both Democrats and Republicans should eat some dicks. Or a bowl of them. You can find the full (unranked) list here, but we've pulled some of the highlights:

• Mick Jagger's arm fat
• Screech
• ORS 352.385 (the Oregon law that allows public universities to establish their own police departments)
• .org websites
• Jose Canseco post Bash Brothers
• the inventor of the turtleneck
• Windows Vista

I would also like to note that Beyoncé was on the list, which was released by the University of Oregon. And if the accused officers were responsible for including the Queen, they should also be tried for treason.