The 12 Strangest Public Places People Have Had Sex — Your Nightclub Tryst Has Nothing On These
Summer brings many changes to our day-to-day lives. For some of us, the warmer weather means deodorizing our thighs before leaving the house in a dress, so as to avoid every curvy girl's enemy, "chub rub." For others, summer means the carefree season of outdoor concerts, flower crowns, and afternoon margaritas. And for a select few, summer is an open invitation to have sex outside. Where? Anywhere, really — on the beach, on a bench, in a park ... even on the roof of a Chipotle, perhaps after enjoying a burrito — a food long lauded (by me) for its aphrodisiac properties.
Here are some of the strangest places people have been busted — or not — for getting it on.
1. ON THE ROOF OF A CHIPOTLE
This past week in Newark, Delaware, a burrito-loving man and woman were caught engaging in sexual intercourse on the roof of a Chipotle. Remarkably enough, they continued having sex for a full 15 to 20 seconds after the police arrived on the scene and ordered them to stop. After being informed they were under arrest, the couple finally stopped, and then fled to the man's apartment, just two buildings down.
2. BY THE DUMPSTER OF A DUNKIN DONUTS
In other public-sex-in-Newark-Delaware's-fast-food-establishments-related news, a couple was caught this past St. Patrick's Day having sex by the dumpster of a Dunkin' Donuts. The couple is wanted for "lewd acts," but has yet to be identified.
(Apparently, public sexual behavior is a statewide problem. Debra Laino, a Delaware sex therapist, calls the intersection of 11th and DuPont Streets in Wilmington "[fellatio] row," due to the amount of people she sees having oral sex in their cars at night.)
3. IN THE PARKING LOT OF A WAFFLE HOUSE
This particular incident holds a special place in my heart. First, the basics: In November of 2013, a Georgia couple got busted for having sex next to their truck in a Waffle House parking lot. OK, nothing shocking here. But then it gets amazing. After having (very luckily) avoided indecency charges because their pick-up truck was in the rear of the lot — thus obscuring their activities — the officer arrived at the scene and ordered them to put on their clothes and show him their licenses. The woman then attempted to put a "cheeseburger on her foot as if it were a sandal."
LESSON: SOMEBODY NEEDS TO MAKE CHEESEBURGER FOOTWEAR HAPPEN.
4. OUTSIDE OF A PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE
5. IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR
You know it's a rough day when getting busted for drug possession is the second most mortifying thing that happens to you. In 2011, after a Montgomery County Texas man and woman were arrested on drug charges, they were packed into a cop car to head back to the station for booking. At a certain point on the drive, the cop driving the car could no longer see the woman's head. Despite being handcuffed, the woman had managed to unzip the man's pants and perform oral sex on him.
6. ON A HISTORIC RUSSIAN FOUNTAIN
For 15 minutes, a duo had sex (in broad daylight) on a landmark fountain in Samara, Russia. Only after the bystander-filmed video went viral did the local police find out about the incident and begin their investigation. The couple is still at large.
7. IN A BANK
In the northern Spanish town Oviedo, a completely naked couple had sex in a bank, between the wall and a cash machine. As The Mirror reports, a police spokesperson commented on the event: "They stripped right off for it. This wasn't just a quick fumble." Before the police arrived, the couple continued having sex — their clothes thrown everywhere — even as people laughed, applauded, pointed, and took pictures. Bizarrely enough, no charges were pressed. I guess at a certain point you just have to respect the audacity.
8. UNDER A CROSS IN FRONT OF A CHURCH
Earlier this month in Oklahoma, a couple was arrested around 6 p.m. on a Wednesday for getting it on in public — in front of a church, under a cross.
9, 10, 11, 12. IN CHURCH, AT MINI GOLF, DURING INVASION OF IRAQ, IN A PORT-A-POTTY
Refer to this semi-disturbing Reddit thread for more unexpected locations, if you're so inclined. Good job, everyone?