'CBGB' Movie Might Not Be Punk Enough

Is there anything less punk than a movie about punk? Trying to sell the masses on what the masses weren't originally sold on is a tricky business plan, but director Randall Miller (The Sixth Man, Houseguest) thinks he might be able to capture '70s and '80s New York City punk-rock scene in his new movie, CBGB. Staring Malin Akerman, Alan Rickman, and Ashley Greene, the movie will ostensibly delve deep into the life of Hilly Kristal, who owned the venerable (and titular) night spot, and was responsible for debuting new acts like The Ramones, Patti Smith, The Talking Heads, and Blondie.

The trailer touts that the movie will be telling the true story of CBGB, which sounds just as absurd as someone selling lightening in a bottle, but just as irresistibly intriguing. Even though we know there's no way it'll deliver on what it's selling, we won't be able to help ourselves, even if the trailer does end with the very un-punk tag line: "rockin' theaters this fall." Oof.

CBGB has potential, and hey, it'll be fun to see the Bowery in total disarray before its gentrification. The club is now a John Varvatos store, for crying out loud, which sells distressed men's boots for $650. That's almost less punk than a movie about punk, now isn't it?