Is there a more perfect guilty pleasure than watching reruns of The Hills? Let me answer that for you: No, of course there isn't. The Hills was a near-perfect "reality" show (the "realness" is up for debate), filled with delicious drama, brutal one-liners (Lauren to Heidi: "I want to forgive you . . . and I want to forget you." Zing!), and beautiful-but-often-awful people. But while the show had a collection of characters, none could hold a candle to the unsung hero of The Hills, the one man on The Hills who dared to defy conventional ways, from his hairstyle to his moniker. I am, of course, talking about Justin "Justin Bobby" Brescia.
Anyone who existed in the late '00s knows that Justin Bobby was the greatest gift that The Hills bestowed upon its viewers. Audrina's motorcycle-riding boyfriend was the show's most confusing character, defined by his ability to spew nonsensical philosophy and coif a perfect ponytail. Yes, Justin was just as beautiful as, say, Brody Jenner, but what made him stand out from the perma-frat boys that circled Lauren, Audrina, and their friends was the fact that Justin was just so mysterious. So mysterious that you often had no idea what he was saying, what was going on in his head, or if he was even aware that you were having a conversation. He was the show's ultimate enigma. We'll always remember Justin as the guy who told us that "truth and time tells all," mainly because what the hell does that even mean, Justin Bobby?
Though Justin was easily one of the most influential television personalities of our generation (I guarantee that there were a handful of high school seniors who had a Justin Bobby-ism as their yearbook quote), it's surprising how little we know about Justin Bobby's actual life outside of The Hills. Example: Did you know that Justin Bobby was Maroon 5's official hairdresser before his time on The Hills? Let me repeat that: Justin Bobby used to do Adam Levine's hair. And, apparently, JB was really good at it. According to the Maroon 5 frontman, Justin Bobby was a "sculptor" of hair, which makes sense, because have you seen his own hair?
(It's such a big deal, JB, like you don't even know.)
It makes sense that Justin Bobby went back to his craft after The Hills ended in 2010. According to Modern Luxury, Justin Bobby worked at the Orange County hair salon Preme in 2011, which means that, yes, you totally could have had your hair styled by Justin. In fact, you might still be able to. According to this Facebook page, Justin Bobby opened up Brush Your Hair Salon by Justin Bobby Brescia in Costa Mesa, California. The last Facebook post was from July 2013, so there's no news on whether the salon closed or just stopped posting. While you might not be able to head over to Costa Mesa to find out, you can get the JB hair experience by purchasing some of his styling products. (Apparently the secret to Justin Bobby's gorgeous locks is organic Indian clay and beeswax — maybe he should start styling Shailene Woodley's hair.)
But hair isn't the only thing that Justin Bobby is passionate about. Justin Bobby was also in a band. According to the YouTube video below, Justin Bobby was the drummer in Ed Stanley, a California-based band, in 2012. The only evidence that this band ever existed was this video for their song "Out West," which, surprisingly, isn't half bad.
. . . and here's Justin Bobby going wild on the drums.
Sadly, it seemed that Ed Stanley never moved past the promotional phase: They stopped tweeting from their account and posting YouTube videos in 2012. Because why mess with perfection, I guess.
So what's going on with Justin Bobby in 2014? Here's the thing: We don't really know for sure. This may or may not be his Twitter account (it's not authenticated by Twitter), but it does show a pic of his Brush Your Hair salon. Could this be what Justin Bobby is up to now? If so, I'm about to make my next hair cut appointment. How far is Costa Mesa from Los Angeles, again?
Oh, Justin Bobby. Please come back to our television sets soon. I hear Audrina is single again, and we all miss you.
Images: Giphy (5)