Pokémon-themed pick-up lines for all you '90s kids

by Stephanie Hayes

Back in third grade, few things were more impressive to your peers than possessing a rare, shiny Charizard Pokémon card (160 HP, 200 damages). That silky piece of paper was the pride of the playground, making a mockery of all the Ghastlies Magikarps and Meowths out there, with their low HPs and feeble damages. It had the power to forge friendships and make crushes materialize of of thin air. Well, I’ve got some good news for Poké-lovers out there: bonding via Pokémon is no longer a thing of the past. Thanks to a team of dedicated Pokémon fans at Nacho Punch, Poké-puns are back, and they're being employed for romantic purposes in the video "Pokémon Pick Up Lines." Keep a Paralyze Heal handy, because these may just stun you.

Admittedly, most of these lines are pretty pathetic and their delivery is cheesy. The majority rely on feeble double-entendres about Pokéballs, or promises that the woman will be Bulbasore in the morning (get it? get it?).

As an indication of the overall quality, the least cringe-worthy line is: "Are we in Pewter City right now? 'Cause I'm about to rock your world." However, the level of commitment in the video is nothing short of admirable, with each of the actors donning convincing costumes and extreme, cartoon-ish facial expressions. I particularly appreciated Team Rocket’s brief cameo and their attempt to proposition Nurse Joy for a threesome.

While none of the women in this video seem overly impressed by the males' Poké-humor (Dusty’s use of “approach” is met with Marissa’s power of “rejection”...and rightly so), I’m convinced there’s hope for Pokémon pick-up lines. The one’s at are far punnier. For instance: “You must be a Magnemite, because I’m attracted to you,” and “Are you a Hitmonlee? ‘Cause your body is kickin’” Oh, and let’s not neglect the foolproof classic: “Girl, if you were a Pokémon, I’d choose you!”

Images: Nacho Pop/Youtube (2)