Kim Kardashian's "Many Moods Of Me" Collage May Be More Complex Than You Realize — PHOTO
On Sunday, Kim Kardashian shared a nine-part collage on Instagram and I have yet to stop staring at it. In each square of the collage, there's a different photo of her face from the same shoot. (Thanks to that green screen, it instantly reminded me of The Brady Bunch opening credits if The Brady Bunch starred nine Kim Kardashians. THAT'D be a strange show. I'd never miss an episode. Wait, how can we make that show happen?) The caption: “The many moods of me!”
I’ve read some of the comments on the the Insta-pic, and it appears as though many people believe her face looks the same in every shot.
I disagree, for I see nine distinct expressions. The changes are minor, yes, but each photo conveys something entirely different from the last. Nine specific stories. Nine specific emotional states. Nine specific moods. She's a master of subtlety, that Kim Kardashian.
I must lay my cards out on the table: I am not a body language expert. I am not a secret agent who's received extensive training in the art of reading faces. I am not a mood ring in human form.
So how did I go about assigning a mood to each photo if I am not a mood ring in human form? I trusted my instincts. I wrote down the first thing that came to my mind when I looked at each square. I listened to what my gut told me and didn’t question it.
Are you ready to read what my gut brewed up? Ack, that's not what I meant. Are you ready to read my Kim K. mood analyses? I've labeled the collage to minimize any confusion:
1: She is annoyed because she can’t remember the name of the actor who voiced Bugs Bunny.
2: She is anxious because she can’t tell if that’s a wasp perched on the wall of the studio or just a weird crack.
3: She is at ease because it is definitely a wasp-shaped crack in the wall.
4: She is worried she left a carton of almond milk out on her kitchen counter.
5: She is stoked because Kanye West just texted her to let her know there was a fresh Netflix envelope waiting in the Jenner mailbox. They're going to watch Under The Skin toniiiiight!
6: She is frustrated because there's a piece of lettuce stuck between two of her molars.
7: She is surprised by a sudden noise.
8: She is amused when she realizes that sudden noise was someone in the studio ripping a fart.
9: She is happy because someone finally turned off the Dillard's-y smooth jazz blaring from the stereo.
Oh, now my gut's telling me I should warn everyone that it might've mixed up a few of those. DAMMIT, GUT! I was counting on you. AUGHHHHHHH. Way to make me look like a dweeb.
This about sums up how I feel right now: