If there's one group of people from the world of television less equipped or qualified to write a self-help book, it's hands down the crew from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mac, Charlie, Dennis, Dee, and Frank have all proven time and time again during the show's 100+ episode run that they are all terrible people, and the last group anyone should be taking advice from — they're even worse than the characters of Seinfeld, who were literally all sent to jail at the end of that show's run for being awful. Imagine Kramer, if he spent his time in a perpetually drunken haze, huffing paint and giving lengthy monologues about whether or not rats are equal to humans: He would basically be It's Always Sunny's Charlie Kelly, only not even as insane as him. So, of course it's none other than the gang from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia releasing a self-book filled with useful advice for the public. Of course.
TIME has the details about the book, which will apparently include advice on relationships, finances, personal grooming, career, and fashion from the five sorta-buddies, of course in their respective tones of voices. There's even a fun little backstory behind how the gang possibly ever scored a book deal, being their inept selves:
The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.
The book will be released Jan. 6, for those of you just itching to live your life according to the D.E.N.N.I.S. System and learn how to make milksteak. And, check out the flawless book cover below...
I hope bookstores actually stock this in the self-help section. I really do.
Image: FX
