Beyonce Boardgames Are Better Than Regular Boardgames for Obvious Reasons (Beyonce)
It feels like time has stopped, you’ve spent almost fifty percent of your day on Facebook, and you’re half-heartedly trying to get work done at your desk. You debate whether you can take a quick coffee break, because the walk and the human interaction might do you some good, before you realize that it would be your third cup of caffeine for the day. But don’t give up afternoon slumpers, because Beyoncé is here to help! MTV presented us with a game called “More Beyoncé” because that afternoon lag is in need of some Sasha Fierce.
There’s no end to the game actually, meaning there’s no point system or skills required to determine a loser or winner — probably because we’re all winners because we all get more Queen Bey to admire. Seriously. All you have to do is click, then click again, and click a few more times to get — you guessed it! — more Beyoncé! As you click, your screen will fill with images of Beyoncé as she bounces around a blank background. Click more and add another layer of Beyoncé to bounce with her compatriots. Click again and just fall under the mesmerizing force that is a thousand Beyoncé’s. You probably didn’t score tickets to Beyoncé and Jay Z’s “On the Run” tour so this is a good, though sad, second best.
This mindless game got me thinking about Beyoncification, which is the made up technical term of how Queen Bey has a magical ability to make any game even better. I mean, just look at Beyonce 2048, my preferred way of playing the addicting tile game. Instead of numbers, I have Beyoncé gifs to slide across the board, and it is freakin’ awesome. Let's break down some games and Beyoncify the crap out of them.
- When you pass "Go," collect $200, then fan yourself with it.
- Silver player pieces now include a mic, a crown, and a tiny Grammy award.
- Chance cards include making it big with your girl group.
- Any player who achieves a Triple Word Score will have the other players bow down.
- "XO" counts as a word.
- An "É" tile will be added to the bag.
- There will be "bills, bills, bills," but it's okay, because you're an "independent woman."
- Cards will ask players whether they like it and, if so, whether they would like to put a ring on it.
- Everyone wins because it's Beyoncé controlling our lives! It's the closest we'll get to taking a few steps into the Queen's shoes.
We can only hope to be as awesome playing our Beyoncé board games as Beyoncé is at being Beyoncé.