One Seattle Cop Is Trolling Weed

Every time a state passes loosened marijuana legislation, we have this collective idea that every single resident of the state must be some tie-dye clad, Grateful Dead pothead. But, apparently, the cop who wrote 80 percent of Seattle's weed tickets this year is just not down with pot, man.

Seattle Police Chief Kathleen O'Toole publicly addressed a review of the buzzkill officer, which found that he'd written 66 of the city's 83 violations issued so far this year. And it wasn't that he was just issuing citations and, you know, doing his duty upholding the peace. He was trolling the new marijuana laws in a big way. (You know what you could really do if you wanted to uphold the peace, man? Just roll one, and, you know, chill out. Or something.)

O'Toole said at the press conference that the officer would sometimes address his tickets to the City Attorney Peter Holmes, who he fondly referred to as "Petey Holmes." The officer also wrote that he would occasionally decide some poor pot smoker's fate by flipping a coin, and summed the Washington marijuana laws in his reports as "silly." It wasn't explicitly specified what kinds of pot citations he was writing.

O'Toole said the officer has been taken off of patrol duty for now, so fear not, good people of Seattle.

So what exactly can you get a marijuana citation for anyway in Seattle? It isn't some love-fest-free-for-all, you damn hippies. Starting December 2012, the voter-approved law allows cannabis to be sold to adults over 21 for recreational use. But you still can't toke in public or carry over an ounce of pot at once. So if you wanted to light up in the park on a nice day, you can get a ticket. And until he was taken off of the streets, it probably would have been from Officer Buzz Kill.

According to the pot primer put out by the Seattle police blotter, cops were, at the time of the bill's passage, not allowed to smoke pot (it's "a very complicated issue"). Maybe that's why he was so bent out of shape? Well, for now he's off patrol. Someone go bring him a bowl.