'Dexter': Hannah Has Seriously Got To Go

There are definitely episodes of Showtime's Dexter in which one finds oneself yearning for the dead-on-the-inside Dexter of yesteryear, and this week was one such episode. Hannah came back at the end of last week's episode, therefore throwing Dexter completely off balance this episode. Was it merely two episodes ago we were convinced Dexter's life might proceed quietly, at least for a bit? Well, guess not then.

Nevermind that Zach, his wannabe protege was clearly not going to work, even before he killed Dexter's hottie next door neighbor Cassie because he was basically throwing a psychopathic temper tantrum about being stood up. He has a creepy face, and he definitely doesn't pull it off as well as Dexter himself. But who even cares? That's the least of Dexter's problems because HANNAH IS BACK and she's married to a creepy psycho who basically triggers everything we really don't need to see more of in Dexter, making him a single-minded lunatic who only wants to help the woman he got arrested. Romance these days. The fact that he then helps her clean it up in his classic way only serves to make their reunion more sappy.

Okay, the whole Dexter-in-love thing is quaint from time to time, but the whole Hannah affair was like being slapped in the face with an ax (for Dexter, and by extension us). So, like, for his sake, why is she back? It's not even just bad for him, because Deb is already on the case, creeping around and being totally rude to her boss as usual.

Because, in a lot of ways, Hannah's coming back makes no sense at all. She's married, but now she needs Dexter's help, but now he's back in the endless vortex of her need to be rescued? Gag me and place in me in a kill room with all of this ridiculous sexual trope abuse, please. Dexter isn't especially great at dealing with women as fully rounded, remotely likable characters, but at least we sort of respected Hannah's panache, even if we didn't want to admit it. Now she's prancing about in garden dresses and then stabbing her husband just after she's pretty much reverse psychologized Dexter into doing it for her? What?

Not that Hannah isn't an interesting character, but the fact is that she makes Dexter into a boring and predictable character and we simply can't have that. Zach Hamilton is not going to be able to step up to the plate and carry this show, so the killer we know best need to put his game face back on, even in the face of lame-ass ex-girlfriend cameos. We won't accept failure.

Image: Showtime